The Fear Inside Me
by Aleah Ano
Summary: Abandoned by her parents at the age of twelve, Kori Anderson miraculously survived on the streets of Gotham City alone. After being rescued by a member of the Young Justice Team eight years later, Kori struggles to find who she is, forget who she was, and learn what it is to care and be cared for as her rescuer falls for her more and more each passing day. AU
1. Prologue

**Hello everyone, Aleah here!**

 **I'm going to tell you right now, this fanfic has been written in advance, and I will be posting once a week, or every other week. Also, I didn't write this to be in line with the actual show, so characters like Wally will still be here, and I might leave out a few I don't like.**

 **With that said, I'm very much pleased with my work, and I hope you will be too! Enjoy!**

* * *

 _Prologue_

Bombs are exploding all around. Fire burns bright inside nearby houses. Gunfire flies past my head as I run. People screaming, my fellow team members shouting for backup, the villain fighting him, and winning...knocking him to the ground, aiming her weapon at him, preparing to strike...I'm screaming his name as I rush forward, hoping I can get him out of the way in time…

My name is Kori Anderson, and I'm a member of the Young Justice Team. How did I end up here? That's a long story…

I was born with my element powers, but they never made an appearance until I was five years old. My older sister, Karana, was the only one besides me who knew. The first element we saw was ice. Years later, I would discover that my powers were based on my emotions. Ice was fear. Between the two of us, we managed to keep my powers hidden for five more years. Karana was killed in a car accident when I was ten years old. It was my fault, although no one knew. As the car had spun out of control, I accidentally shot ice into my sister's heart, forcing her head out the car window. She was killed instantly.

I had never felt so alone and afraid. The feeling of guilt was overwhelming. I had locked myself in my room for weeks after, hoping, wishing that this was all a bad dream, a nightmare. I eventually had to come out, and for the most part, I could keep my powers under control. It was the coldest December Gotham City had ever known, so when my powers got a little out of control, I would walk outside and hope it was snowing. Most of the time it was. And even if it wasn't, a few flurries weren't at all uncommon that winter.

We were poor, and the funeral cost just about wiped my parents out. We had to move to a house worse than the last, and soon my parents had to take me to an orphanage. For months, I waited for them to come back and take me home with them. But they never came. A year passed, and I read in the paper that my father's business had finally become a success, and he was almost filthy rich. Still, I waited, and another year passed before I realized they weren't coming back. After that, I left the orphanage so I could train myself to control my powers better, and to be alone. My powers seemed to have taken my ability to feel, almost as if to protect me. I never laughed, I never cried. It was as if ice had numbed my heart.

I had no clue what I was doing. There were places I could go, places much nicer than the street I had chosen to live on. But I wanted to stay just in case my parents came back. I wouldn't have gone with them-unless they had a good reason for staying away so long, which wasn't looking good for them-but seeing them again... I don't know why I held onto that hope for so long. They say hope is stronger than fear, which I guess was true in my case. And that, I suppose, is the best and only explanation I can give. I'll say one thing though; alleyways are uncomfortable. The smell alone would drive most people away.

One night some eight years later, I was running from a group of men who had tried to abduct and rape me before. This wasn't new to me, running from people like them. It happened more often than I'd like to admit. No one had caught me yet, which should've been in my favor, except for a few minor details. I was weak from hunger, as it had been a bad week food-wise, and tired from lack of sleep due to the horrible little shelter I lived in, which was in fact a cardboard box. I was drained from my half-day trip across town and back to go to a soup kitchen that had been closed due to electrical problems, which of course I didn't find out until I got there. And my powers were no help, with ice spreading across the ground every few steps.

I ran into my little alley, shot ice at them, but lost what little energy I had and fell. I braced myself for the worst, but the men never came. I looked up when I heard them cry out in pain. A dark figure was fighting the men, and was winning. I tried to stand, to run away, but I was to weak. After he was finished with them, he walked over to me. _This is it_ , I thought. As he came closer I could see the mask covering his eyes. He knelt beside me and held his hand out. I flinched.

"Hey, it's okay." He spoke gently. "I'm not going to hurt you."

* * *

 **If I get some reviews I might post the first chapter tonight. :)**

 **Hit that like button and review, Aleah out!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone, Aleah here!**

 **Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, I can honestly say I never thought my story would get noticed so fast.**

 **Anyways, sorry for not posting the first chapter last night. Here it is now! But first-**

 **Guest** -Yeah, they do don't they? :) I have gone back to future chapters and fixed that.

 **Mara Kate** -Thank you! And the wait is up-until nest Saturday ;)

 **Dawn** -Thanks so much! I'm glad you're hooked!

 **Cryptic Critic** -Thanks! I think it looked fine, but I'll watch it in future chapters.

-It's Nightwing. :) Lol, thank you!

 **PeinVPuppy** -Yes, that I am using a revised version of Starfire's name, which happened accidentally, I might add. xD

 **Enjoy guys!**

* * *

Chapter1❄❄❄

"... _I'm not going to hurt you_."

I looked away, not quite trusting him.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I looked closer at him. Black hair, his eyes covered by a mask, and he was wearing what I thought looked like a superhero suit. I nodded, not trusting my voice. My heart rate hadn't calmed down yet, and neither had I.

Still, he insisted on checking. "Looked like you hit your head pretty hard. I just need to be sure, okay?" Again, I nodded, and let him help me sit up.

"I'm Nightwing, by the way." The man said as he cleaned a cut on my arm.

"From the Justice League?" I asked timidly.

He grinned. "Actually, I'm from the Team. The younger generation of heroes."

"Oh." I couldn't think of anything to say.

"You have a name?"

I looked up. "Yes."

"Would you mind telling me?"

"...Kori." I didn't tell him my full name.

Nightwing glanced at my bruised legs. "Do you need some help getting home?"

"I am home." I said. "This is where I live."

A look of surprise briefly crossed his face, disappearing just as fast as it appeared.

"So...thanks anyways...um, could you get them out before they wake up?"

He looked back at the fallen men. "Of course...you know I'd feel better if I knew you were in a safer place."

I shook my head. "I don't have anywhere else to go."

Nightwing looked thoughtful. "What if I came back to check on you?"

"You don't have to-"

"I can bring food, if you want. Would you like something now?"

The bargain didn't settle well with me, but I hadn't eaten in days. So I nodded. Yes, food sounded lovely.

He took some kind of granola bar out of a pouch on his belt.

I tentatively took it from him and examined the wrapper.

He smiled gently. "It's not drugged, if that's what you're thinking."

I glared at him, yanking off the wrapper and taking a bite. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

He looked at me for a bit. "Do you know who those men were?"

I looked around the alley. "No, but they have done this before. Tried to rape me." I looked up to see him staring at me with a strange look on his face.

"I know I don't look like much..." I mumbled.

"No, I didn't mean..." He faltered. "They've done this before?" He asked gravely.

His tone had scared me a bit. I simply nodded, looked away.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" He asked in the same tone.

"No one would have cared."

"Have they gotten you before?" He asked a little more gently.

"No. I always out ran them. Until tonight..." I was surprised to hear my voice shake a bit as I spoke.

"Well, I don't think they'll be coming back any more."

I nodded. Did I believe it? No. In fact the thought that they might come back always scared me. I could feel the fear seeping into my very soul...

"I have to go." Nightwing stood. "I'll be back. I promise."

"Sure." I sighed. "Sure."

* * *

"You still haven't told me your full name."

"Only because I still don't want to." I sat back and folded my arms.

It had been a month at least-and a most pleasant month at that. Nightwing came with food and protection a few times a week. I knew I shouldn't get too close to anyone, but I figured this wouldn't last long anyways, so why not?

"You see, I'm afraid that once you know it, you'll try to look up every piece of my background that I'm not ready for you to know yet."

"You don't know that."

"So I won't risk it."

Nightwing smiled. "Good move."

I finished off the apple he brought me and tossed the core at a trash bin. I would say 'tossed _in_ ' but...I missed.

"Here-" Nightwing took a random piece of paper off the ground and crumpled it up. "You have to aim like this-and use your entire arm instead of just your wrist." He handed me the bunched up paper. I tried and got it much closer.

I laughed nervously. "I don't think-"

"Nonsense. Try again." He handed me another paper and used his hand to guide my arm through the motions a few times. Now, I didn't like being touched much then, and I was super jumpy. So as we practiced, fear crept through, seeping into and coming out of my very being.

"Um, Kori..."

I looked down to see ice slowly spiking off the ground. "I'm sorry!" I cried.

Nightwing didn't look too surprised, which made me wonder if he didn't already know.

He glanced around us. "You have powers?"

"Ice." I whispered.

"Cool." He stated. "No pun intended."

I gave him a small, weak smile. Then silently cursed myself for doing so.

"Did you know?"

"I had a feeling. It's part of my job to keep tabs on humans with supernatural powers. Hope you don't mind."

"So is this what you do? Go around at night helping people?" I asked quietly.

"You could say that." He looked at me. "It's not for everyone, but I think you'd do well. I bet you're pretty good at full strength."

I looked away, surprised to find myself blushing. "I've, uh, never had any real training…"

"You could come with me. The Team would help you train."

I shook my head. "No." I didn't want to get too close...I was dangerous.

He nodded. "It's your decision. But you can always change your mind."

"I won't, but thank you." I looked down. "I don't want to get too involved." I knew someone was going to get hurt. And for once, I was afraid it would be someone other than myself.

"...If that's what you want." Nightwing said quietly.

"Thanks." _Thanks_ _for_ _understanding_...

* * *

Several weeks passed, and I was getting stronger. Nightwing always came on time, so when one night he was late, I worried, and for good reason. I was waiting, wondering where he was, when a group of men walked into the alley blocking the entrance. They didn't say a word, except that I was not to scream or they'd kill me. They backed up that threat with a knife. I shot ice at them, making platforms for myself, climbing up to the top of a building. They somehow managed to follow me quicker than I had hoped. I didn't want to kill anyone by accident, which as far as I know happened twice in the past. I surrounded myself in ice hoping I could last until help came. They smashed the wall, and a chunk of ice hit me on my head. I still have a small scar on my scalp. I fell to my knees, struggling to clear my head so I could fight back.

They broke through after several attempts of my trying to thicken the wall, and I was covered in a shower of ice. Once they had uncovered me they pushed me onto my back, pinned me down. The leader yanked my hair, holding me head back. Silent tears ran down my face. Then he slid his hands down to my waist. I tried not to scream, but one threatened to come out anyway.

"Quiet!" He barked, slapping my face.

It was at that moment Nightwing decided to show up. I didn't look, but I heard them fighting. The man practically threw me away from him, and i fell onto one of the ice platforms. I must have blacked out for a moment, because when I opened my eyes I wasn't on the platform anymore. Nightwing was there, checking my pulse. I pulled away and curled up into a ball, not wanting to cry in front of my rescuer. He gently touched my shoulder, asked if I was okay. That's when the tears came. They came like a waterfall, buckets pouring down my face. I had to wipe them away before they froze over my eyes. Like I've said, I didn't have good control over my powers. He sat down next to me, picked me up and drew me to him. I couldn't stop. I felt so weak and vulnerable, and that only made things worse.

"Hey, hey, shh, it's okay. It's okay, you're safe, you're safe now. I won't let anyone hurt you." He said quietly. "I promise. You're safe."

I touched a hand to my head. "Ouch…" I whispered, thinking, _Is that blood?_

Nightwing checked under my hand and stiffened."Kori, I'm taking you back to Mount Justice with me."

"No..." I choked. I could just barely remember that Mount Justice was...well, was a mountain. I somehow didn't bothering asking why he would take me to a mountain as opposed to a doctor.

"Kori, you might need stitches. We need to get you help right now." His voice was so intense, so urgent.

"No...just leave me here to die!" I cried. "Just let me die!"

"Kori..." He started.

"No! Kill me, please!" I pleaded. I felt like I was going crazy, and I guess I sounded like it, too. "I can't take the pain anymore!" I sobbed. I had thawed. Melted. It was awful to feel again. I hated it. The days following my sister's death has been trying, to say the least. Some of those days I wished I had died too.

"What pain?" Nightwing asked, confused. When I didn't answer, he pressed harder. "Kori, what's wrong?"

"Kill me!" I screeched. Ice spread across the alley, spikes shot out from the walls. I lay there, gasping for breath. My powers had gone out of control. Now they were controlling me. My mind went blank. I don't remember much. Nightwing carried me out of the alley. It felt like he was running. He was talking to me but I don't remember what he said. I heard mixed voices, ones I didn't recognize.

When I came to the only one there was Nightwing. I was in a white room, in a white bed.

"Kori?" He asked quietly.

I groaned and closed my eyes. The white was blinding. Nightwing gently took my hand in his. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "You brought me here." I said quietly.

The pressure of his hand on mine disappeared. "You needed help."

"Why didn't you kill me?"

"I won't do that. You're safe now. Trust me."

I opened my eyes. "I don't want to stay here."

"I don't see how you have a choice..." He started.

"No." I sat up, and pain hit me like a giant wave. I nearly screamed.

"Whoa, whoa, easy! Lie down." But I didn't lie down. I was close to passing out. Maybe the pain would take me. But I had no such luck. Nightwing forced me down. "Kori, I won't let you do this to yourself." He said firmly.

"Why?" I didn't expect an answer, so I was surprised when he gave me one.

"Because despite what you think, your life is worth something. Your friends would probably agree with me."

"I've never had any friends." I said flatly.

"What about me? Don't you trust me by now? We can help you train with your powers." I could tell he was doing his best to convince me. "The Team wouldn't mind adding a new member."

"Team?"

"Heroes. You would be safe here."

I closed my eyes. "I'm not worried about _my_ safety…" I thought back to all the people I'd hurt. There were two I might have impaled with an icicle. "Everyone who has ever been close to me has either died or left me. I'm not going through that again."

"You don't get it..." Nightwing started.

"People die, they... Look, if I let myself get close to someone, if I open up to them, either me or someone else will get hurt."

"You won't get hurt. I promise." He looked up as the door opened.

A man with wild red hair walked into the room. "Ah, the Snow Queen's awake!"

* * *

 **Wally! xD**

 **Tell me what you thought of the chapter! Hope that can tide you over until the weekend. :)**

 **Until Saturday, hit that like button and review, Aleah out!**


	3. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone, Aleah here! It's been a week, so that means updates! Thank you so much for all the reviews, it means a lot to me that people like what I write. Okay, here we go!**

 **QueenofNetflix8** -I'm glad you like it! Here's an update for ya!

 **Guest-** Thank you! Posting now...

 **Mara** **Kate-** Thanks!

 **Cryptic Critic-** Awesome. Thanks!

 **PrincessSkippy-** Thanks for that. xD Yes, I read it and it was wonderful

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 _Chapter_ _2_

Several weeks passed since that day. I eventually accepted the fact that I was stuck there and started to get to know the others. On my first day I met Kid Flash, aka Wally West. While he was serious enough, I could sometimes see this mischievous glint in his eyes when he spoke. He was okay, meaning I was comfortable with him. Then there was Robin and Artemis, who came by occasionally. And the only others allowed to come see me, M'gann and Superboy; whose name was Conner. I hated myself for liking them, but how could I not have? They treated me like I was normal. I couldn't believe it at first. I didn't feel normal, and I certainly didn't look normal either. In fact I startled myself looking in the mirror at my reflection for the first time in...well, forever.

Oily, tangled hair, and skin tinted a brownish-grey, the color of dirt and dust. I could count my ribs if I looked close enough. There was a wild look in my eyes-maybe it was just because of my fright-and my blank expression seemed to wrap it all up. I looked like a freak. I still don't know how they could stand to look at me with a passive face.

During my first shower in HQ, the water looked almost polluted as it ran down the drain. It took a lot of scrubbing, but finally the water ran clear. I know it would be cliche to say that after a good bath and a few meals I started to fill out and thrive. And that is partly true-though it took many meals to get me back to health-but the creature in the mirror was a stranger to me, a lovely meek thing staring back at me with ice blue eyes. My skin now looked pale and fair, like a princesses. My hair was no longer tangled and matted; it now flowed down over my shoulders in silky waves. But I could see through her-I saw her for who she was. Dangerous. Like me.

Anyways, it turned out I didn't have to get stitches. If the cut had been just a bit deeper though… It still hurt, and for the first time in a long time I began to have nightmares. In them a terrible darkness closed in on me, and somehow the closer it got the harder it was to breathe. I also noticed just how little control I had over my powers.

Training myself to control them was no simple task. I remember some of my earlier sessions. The Team had thought up all these weird training exercises for me to try. All of them made me feel both uncomfortable and uneasy, but then I guess that was the point. M'gann was the first who worked with me. She was to get me comfortable around the Team. At first we would just talk, and as time went by I would let her into my mind to see certain things. I never spoke of my past though, and didn't let her see it. Later on M'gann taught me to channel my emotions, to stay calm.

Conner helped me with my studies, seeing as I hadn't had any real schooling since I left that orphanage. Sure I was street smart, but I didn't really know much about math or history and my handwriting was atrocious. He was quiet and didn't ask questions, and so we formed an unlikely friendship. We could sit and do our own thing without bothering the other. We would have quiet conversations from time to time, but we didn't talk with each other as much as M'gann and I did.

Then there was Wally. He was in charge of getting me healthy. He managed my new diet, making sure I ate enough but didn't eat myself sick. Daily exercise routines, like running and stretching, and weirdly-fun games that helped with hand-eye coordination. He was able to turn anything into a game or a joke if he wanted, and if the other people he was with were up to it.

Later on Artemis would help me with my aim. It was terrifying for me at first-it would've been worse if I didn't know her as well as I did… I often asked her to let me practice by myself because I didn't want to accidently hit her. She was a great help, getting me comfortable using my powers. She actually helped me decide to stay with the Team.

And Nightwing. He worked endlessly with what little information I gave him about my past to figure out exactly who and what I was. He also worked with M'gann to find the two men I'd accidently stabbed. And he was always patient with me, even when I was being difficult.

Hand-to-hand combat started a month after I arrived. Nightwing was a good teacher, and respected my wish to wear gloves to cover my hands, just in case. He would also do these mental exercises with me. There was this one that he worked on with me once a week. He would set up a manikin and have me place a hand on it. Then he would dim the lights to the point where neither of us could see much. After that, he activated a stimulation that would create a startling scene in front of me. I wasn't allowed to let any ice or snow touch the manikin. It actually worked well.

Eventually I told Nightwing I would join the Team. I was then given a special suit; a black jumpsuit with dark blue boots and a belt, and a black mask that covered the area around eyes. To be honest, I almost looked like a female version of Nightwing, give or take. I felt a little uncomfortable being new and all, but I was determined to fit in. Somehow.

I met with the rest of the Team a month after combat practice. Beast Boy and Impulse, who insisted I call them by their real names, Garfield and Bart, made a lasting impression on me. They were kind to me, but didn't go overboard on the whole comrades thing. Robin was the same way. The rest; Batgirl, Blue Beetle, Wonder Girl, Lagann, Guardian, Bumblebee, and Static didn't seem to care if I was there or not, which actually settled my nerves.

My first training session with the Team felt incredibly awkward for me, and I hung back for most of it. Even as I was getting better, I still tried not to draw attention to myself. Nightwing saw that and decided to do something about it.

"Alright!" NIghtwing called. "Let's get started. We'll be reviewing basic sparring. I've noticed your forms get sloppy at times in combat. You know nothing if you don't know the basics. First up-" He looked to me. "Kori."

 _Oh boy._

Nightwing came to me before I had the chance to think of a method to disappear.

"You ready?" He questioned with a slight grin.

I nodded, not feeling ready at all.

"Your move." He stepped back with one foot into a ready position.

I hesitated, then figured he could handle himself and ducked low to fire ice at his legs. Nightwing leaped over it and came down behind me, depressed a button on something, dropped it, then leaped away. I glanced down.

"Crap."

The bomb exploded just as I leaped away. I my brain went into autopilot as it usually did. From my hands shot two long streams of snow that cushioned my landing. I rolled and then jumped to my feet. Nightwing approached causally, seemingly confident in his abilities.

Good. I could use that against him.

Ice appeared from under him to make it slick. The next step he took threw him off balance, just in time for me to leap forward and throw an icicle at his back. The same slickness that caused him to be off balance also saved him from that attack. He slid slightly out of the way and the icicle missed. Only a moment later, he regained his footing and gripped something new from his utility belt. A thin piece of metal that grew when he pressed a button.

Bowstaff.

I clenched my fists and grew ice knives in them. We both attacked at the same time. His first blow went high as I ducked and sliced at his ankle. A small cut appeared and he quickly moved out of the way. I pressed my advantage with a strike to his arm. Blocked. He returned with a blow to my side. I blocked with one hand and struck with the other. But he was faster than that. He blocked easily, but had to step backwards. I pushed myself faster and attacked again. Each strike was blocked, but also pushed him backwards. Finally, the bow staff flew was knocked to one side and I lengthened my knives, then dulled them so they would not cut. I struck him arm, forcing him to drop the bow staff as he tried to pick it up, then brought a knife up towards his neck. Everything stopped. I stepped backwards and melted my knives.

That's when the realization hit me. I won. I actually won. Only then did I glance around the room and realized that everyone was staring. I glanced back at Nightwing and read the surprise on his face.

"I...I wasn't expecting that." He said, still catching his breath. "Good job."

I looked at the blood on his ankle. For some reason, I didn't feel victorious anymore. When everyone was busy doing something else, I slipped out of the room to be alone. I had cut my hand on one of the knives, and wanted to get it taken care of. As I was washing the blood off my hand with a damp cloth, I heard someone walk up behind me.

"That was impressive." Nightwing. Figures.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." I mumbled. "It's just when someone attacks me I go into auto pilot..."

"You don't have to apologize. It's all part of training." He reached for a cloth.

"Here." I took the cloth and melted snow on it. Why? I don't know. It felt right.

"Thanks." He sat down on the counter, glancing up at me from time to time. "That outfit doesn't look half bad on you." He said after a long pause.

I turned my face away, blushing again. "Um, thanks."

"Sorry, that sounded bad." He hopped off the counter. "I meant-"

"I know. Thank you." My cut suddenly seemed interesting to me.

"You got cut?"

I glanced up. "It's just a little one. I'm fine."

"Let me see…" He examined my palm. "It's still bleeding a bit." He pressed the cloth down a bit harder.

I watched quietly. "You always know how to fix these things."

"I used to get in all kinds of scrapes. Alfr-um, a family friend would always patch me up. I learned a thing or two from him." Nightwing removed the cloth."There…"

"Well...thankyou."

"Not done yet…" I looked at his face. He got this look whenever he concentrated…

"Okay, done." He smoothed a small bandage into place. "You have to be careful with cuts, I got an infection once."

"I'm not sure if that makes me feel comfortable with our current leader…" I teased quietly.

Nightwing smirked. "Would telling you it happened a long time ago help?"

"Mmm, maybe." I looked up and realized how close we were standing. He was staring at me. What was he thinking? I began to feel uncomfortable. "Uh, I-I have t-to go."

He shook his head as if clearing it and nodded. "Okay." I heard him say as I walked down the hall.

"Hey, Snow Queen!" Wally appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh, hi. I thought I told you to stop calling me Snow Queen?" I threw a half-hearted glare his way.

"Well what else are we gonna call you?" He asked.

"What?"

"You need a hero name. Snow Feather?"

"Makes me sound like an Indian."

"Icicle?"

"Are you for real?" I laughed.

"Okay then, how about Elsa."

"Oh no..." I groaned as Wally started to sing.

"Stop."

"Okay, okay." He laughed. "I can't think of anything that would suit you."

"Funny, I just thought of the perfect name for you." I rolled my eyes.

"Kid Mouth, right?" He grinned. "Nightwing already thought of that years ago."

"I'm done talking to you now." I said, walking away.

* * *

 **Whelp, that's it for this week. Hope you liked the chapter!**

 **Chapter 3 is next week.**

 **So until then, hit that like button and review, Aleah out!**


	4. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, Aleah here! This is a big chapter, this is when things start happening. I'll explain at the end of today's post. 'Kay, so thanks to everyone who reviewed! Before we continue I'd like to acknowledge them.**

 **512-** Yes I know! More feels to come!

 **PeinVPuppy-** It _is_ a bit like Frozen, I know. You actually gave me an idea for her hero name, so thanks!

 **Day-** Aww, thank you!

 **JadeAnneHanforth-** Crash, thanks! Lol Glad you like it. ;)

 **Okay, here we go!**

* * *

❄❄❄ _Chapter 3❄❄❄_

Two months later I was sitting on the couch with Conner, trying to make little snowmen on the coffee table faster than he could smash them with his hand. It was another one of my training exercises. And we were bored. It had been a long four months, believe me you.

I had excelled during training, I was getting closer to the Team, more so to Nightwing than anyone else, and I was growing more confident. Life was good, except...I had been feeling a little uncomfortable around Nightwing lately. My closest friend was acting weird, and I didn't like it. I tried not to think about it much-after all, we were just friends. But what disturbed me most were my own feelings. I didn't know why my heart would go wild whenever he touched me, or why I couldn't think straight if he was sitting close.

" _We may have a lead on the men who attacked you._ " _Nightwing said as I walked in the room. He didn't even turn around._

" _How did you know it was me?_ " _I asked, confused._

" _By the way you walk; your footsteps. I'll teach you someday._ "

 _I hide a smile._ " _...Um, you said you have a lead?_ "

" _Might have. It takes time to track anyone down, but I think I've found who and where they are._ " _He pressed something and a bunch of files popped up. He looked at me expectantly._

" _That's them._ " _I said fearfully, nodding._ How could I forget those faces looming over me...

 _With that, Nightwing continued._ " _Tom and Mal were arrested two, almost three years ago for the same thing they tried with you._ "

" _So they're...alive?_ " _I dared to ask._ Scrunched up in pain _..._

" _Yes. They were brought to a med center and treated. Um, missed any vital organs...were up and out within a week, ten days for Tom…_ "

 _I felt a weight come off my shoulders. Still, I clutched my hands to my chest._

" _...And were arrested two months after. Says here they 'worked together' for less than half that time._ "

 _Tears found their way to my eyes._ " _Good._ " _I whispered._ Good…

" _Are you okay?_ " _I looked up to see Nightwing gazing at me._

" _Yes. I'm just…_ " _I couldn't find the words._

 _Nightwing smiled._ " _I know._ "

 _I guess I first noticed it then-the way his smile seemed a bit brighter, lasted a bit longer..._

I shook myself out of my thoughts and focused harder on staying ahead of Conner.

"You know you're gonna break the table, right?" Artemis sat down across from us. "I still can't think of a name for you, Kori."

I paused from making snowmen for a moment. "I'm not sure. Maybe I just won't have one, like you." Conner smashed the last snowman and I threw my hands up, letting out an exasperated sigh. Artemis burst out laughing. I threw a glare at Conner as he walked away.

"I don't understand the point of this exercise…"

"I'm not the one who made it up." Artemis shrugged. "If you're bored we could practice together."

I nodded, forming one last snowman before I stood up. "Let's go."

Training was the only reason I wanted to stay. I felt I had to until I could control my powers. I didn't want to hurt anyone else.

"Okay, we'll be using a simulation this time. Instead of target shaped targets you'll have people shaped targets." Artemis looked over at me. "Don't go for the kill, just disarm and defeat, only injure if necessary. You'll be fine. Ready?" No. I wasn't ready. But I nodded anyway. I closed my eyes and waited.

* * *

When I opened them again, the sim had made a forest. The sun was rising. I hated sims. One reason being it freaked me out instead of helping me. Sure, I could keep my powers mostly under control now, but I still went into autopilot. I had to remind myself that it was all in my head.

The first figure ran out from behind a tree. I glanced around. Artemis wasn't with me. Great. I shot a stream of ice at his gun, then at his feet. To more came out, one on the ground and the other in a tree. I knocked one down onto the other. Then came five, dropping from the trees. One of them charged me, and I threw a punch at his arm, then kicked his feet out from under him. I jumped up onto a tree branch, hoping to get a better vantage point. It did, but also put me at greater risk.

This is basically how the sims work, they make it more and more challenging until you can't continue. Ten jumped out at me as I finished the seven that had just come. Thirteen. Eighteen. Nine. Twenty. Each wave came more deadly than the last. I had never actually done a sim like this up to that point, so I had no clue whether or not I was doing well.

Soon the numbers grew to the point where it was overwhelming. I was up in a different tree, trying not to fall. The exercise had become real to me, my heart rate wouldn't go down. In my mind I knew it wasn't real, but that thing that drove me-fear, or whatever it was-was in control. I panicked and did the only thing I could think of-I froze everything. I didn't know if it was actually possible to do that. I didn't know if it would kill the men. But I did it anyway. I opened my eyes to a frozen world; frozen trees, plants, and people. Frozen statues, staring back at me…

* * *

" _Kori!_ "

I bolted upright, staring into the faces of Nightwing and Artemis. I peeked behind them and saw ice covering the entire room. I held my hands to my chest, trying not to let the temperature drop-well, drop anymore than it already had…

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. What happened?"

They looked at each other. Artemis spoke first. "You-you beat the sim."

"Not possible." I denied it quickly. "It's set up for failure."

"It was." Nightwing said. "But the program wasn't-something went wrong. You know the switch?"

I nodded. There was a switch that got you out of the sim just in case you couldn't handle it.

"It wasn't there."

"What?" I thought back. _It wasn't there, was it?_

"You wouldn't really freeze everything in that situation, right?" Artemis asked.

I paused at that. Would I? I didn't want to hurt anyone outside of the sim, but it was a good last resort. "I-I don't think-"

"Only as a last resort." Nightwing stood and helped me up. I smiled in thanks.

"I'm sorry, Kori, I didn't think…"

"It's okay, really." I said. _Why wasn't the ice melting?_

Nightwing was thinking the same thing. "Ice skating anyone?" Artemis rolled her eyes and walked out, grinning.

"I don't think so. Maybe later."

He looked to me, grinning. "Just us then?" I thought for a second. This was probably a way to get me relaxed…

"Sure." I let him take my hand and pull me across the room.

"Have you done this before?"

"Um, no. You?"

"First tried when I was ten. Fell flat on my face."

I hide a smirk. "Ice rink?"

"No, a fight with Freeze."

My eye widened the tiniest bit. "Wow…"

"Yeah. I practiced a lot after that night. It actually became fun after a while." He spun me around once.

"Whoa!" The room spun and then came into focus on Nightwing's face.

"Not bad. Try again?"

"I don't think-wait wait wait!"

* * *

 _It was all the same_ - _four crumpled cars twisted around trees, red and blue lights illuminating the broken glass, the flashing making it hard to see anything. Two, three bodies being put into body bags as two others are put into ambulances. A piece of glass with a pattern of ice slowly melting, the corner stained with blood-_

"Kori, focus! I'm over here!" Kid Flash yelled.

I shot yet another stream of snow at him. Training was a pain that day. Everything felt wrong. Using my powers-I felt like I was dishonoring Karana's memory by not using them, after all, she did encourage me not to give up. But I was still afraid. The Nightmares always got worse around that day...

"Better! Try to actually hit me this time!"

 _What do you do when you can't feel your soul? How do you live knowing you've done something horrible-something that can never be undone? How can you speak when no one can hear you, see you...how can you go on after so much time has passed with nothing ever going your way?_

"Sorry." Conner bumped into me.

I smiled, kept walking. "It's okay."

I didn't feel okay. Tomorrow was the day. Karana's death, murder, the one I caused. How could I stay here, become one of them after what I'd done? I entered my room and tried to relax. Already the temperature was dropping...

 _The broken bodies, the blood, the pain...the sirens droning on and on and on...the kids there crying, medics trying to find family members of those now dead...my own family's silence as we watched her being taken away. The sound of metal against metal, the screeching of brakes and the screams, the crashes-_

Dinner time. I was still working on the dishes when everyone else sat down, but I didn't mind. I liked listening to them talk. It also gave me time to think. As if I didn't have enough already.

"Want some help?" I spun around. Nightwing was standing behind me holding a dirty pan.

"Um, no thanks, I'm good." I turned back to the sink hoping he didn't see my blush.

"You can eat sooner if you have help." He handed me the pan and took the clean plate from me. I handed him a towel.

"Thanks." He started drying it. "I was talking to Batman the other day."

I glanced sideways at him.

"He was asking about how you were doing in training. I told him I think you're ready to go on missions now."

"Really?" Nightwing paused to put the plate away. I handed him the pan. "You really said that?"

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure you're going on the next mission with us."

"Wow. That was fast."

"Well, you had already trained yourself pretty good on the streets. You've earned this."

I handed the last dish to Nightwing. "All thanks to you." Blushing. Again. "If you hadn't come by that alley when you did that night..."

"I know. But I can't take any credit for your skills. You're a fast learner."

"Well, I have a lot of good teachers."

He smiled, glanced around the kitchen. "Looks like we're done. Come on, before KF eats everything." Nightwing started to leave the kitchen.

"I'll be right there." I called after him. I reached into the sink to pull the plug, He nodded, continued walking to the dining room. I thought of my sister and realized how none of this wouldn't have happened without her. Karana. I could hear the sickening crack-

Suddenly I needed some air. I walked out onto the landing platform, sat down on the ground. Tears threatened to fall down my cheeks any second. If it weren't for me, my sister would still be alive right now. I don't know how long I sat there, but all too soon a voice made me jump, and send ice flying everywhere.

"You okay?" I turned around. Nightwing.

"Sorry." He said, sitting down next to me with two plates of food. "Didn't mean to startle you."

"That's okay." I said, picking up my fork. "I almost shot you with ice, so I guess we're even."

Nightwing laughed. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine. I just...needed some air."

He nodded. There was a long pause. "This is random, but...What's your full name?"

"Kori Marie Anderson." I said without hesitation this time. He had asked before. Now I was ready.

"Sounds like an Tamaranian name, almost. Kori, I mean."

I took a deep breath. This always took some explaining. "Well, my real first name is Koriand'r. It _is_ Tamaranian. It means The Fire of Stars. Translated in English, it's Starfire. But since Koriand'r Anderson sounds...well, weird, my family called me Kori."

"Starfire...Not a bad name." He smiled at me. My heart skipped a beat. What did he just do? Why is my heart beating really fast? My sister would tease me about this...if she were here...

After another long pause, he asked softly, "What are you thinking about?"

The words came out before I could stop them. "My sister." _Why do I trust him so?_

"I didn't know you had a sister."

"She died in a car accident a little under ten years ago. It was my fault. Everyone thought the cause of death was a head through a window, but it wasn't, at least not completely… As the car spun out of control, I accidently shot ice into her heart. She...she was killed instantly." Tears came to my eyes, and I turned my face away so he wouldn't see. "It's tomorrow. The day she died, it's tomorrow."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea." Yet another long pause. "Kori?"

"Hm?" I wiped my eyes.

"You know, I had someone who was like a brother to me. Two, actually. I was pretty close to both of them. He was killed during a mission. They both were."

"The same one?"

"No. Different times, different years. Both had taken my place as Robin when I became Nightwing. We all lose people important to us. But none of us are alone, or have to be."

"Maybe it's better that way."

"Don't say that. Please don't ever say that."

"Why?"

"Because it's not true, and you know it."

I turned to face him, and as I did, he leaned closer and kissed me.

* * *

 **I just know you're yelling at me now I'm sorry! But if I get some good reviews I** ** _might_** **post the other chapter tomorrow...**

 **So until next time, hit that like button and review, Aleah out!**


	5. Chapter 4

**Hello everyone, Aleah here!**

 **I'm soooo sorry! I didn't post another chapter for you like I said I would but hey! You get two this week!**

 **Anywho, thanks to all of you who reviewed, liked, and followed. It really means a lot to me.**

 **Cryptic Critic-** Thank you so much! Fuzzy feelings are the best lol. Glad you felt that way.

 **kattenmusen10-** I'm updating now so sorry!

 **Kike151-** Updating now!

 **Day-** Yeah I know! _The parallels!_ Kori is _not_ Starfire though. Not based on her or anything. The name was a funny accident, actually lol

 **JadeAnneHanforth-** Asterous , huh? xD Not sure I spelled that right...

* * *

❄❄❄ _Chapter 4❄❄❄_

At first, I was stunned, and couldn't move. His lips were soft and against mine, it made my heart go a mile a minute. I wanted to melt into it... A second later I realized what was happening and I jerked away from him. He looked slightly surprised, and now that I look back on it, hurt. "What's wrong?"

"Why did you do that?" I asked, standing up and backing away.

"I think you know..." His voice trailed off.

 _No. No, don't say it…_

He stood up, and gently put his hands on my arms. I stiffened as he did. He tilted his head so his lips were right by my ear. "I'm in love with you..." He whispered. I pulled away before he could continue.

"No..." I shook my head, hoping I'd heard wrong, although I knew there was no chance of that. I had heard every word.

"Kori..." He started.

"No!" I shouted. "Don't! You can't!"

"It doesn't work that way." He smiled weakly. "I'm in love with you."

"Please stop…"

"So you're saying you don't feel the same." He raised an eyebrow, as if not believing his own statement.

 _No, I'm saying I'm lost and confused. I'm shouting it, why can't you hear me?_ "I can't love you. I'll hurt you, I know I will!"

"You said you can't." He looked so confused.

"I don't. I won't. Not ever. And I don't want to be hurt again either, so please just leave me alone!" _Oh, why'd you have to ruin everything? Why do I feel so horrible?_

"You can't hide behind a wall of ice forever, Kori. I see you. I know you. Why won't you let me in?"

"You know nothing about me! And I don't want you to."

Nightwing looked hurt. "You don't mean that."

 _No, I don't._ "Yes, I do."

"Kori, please, just listen..." He said, touching my shoulder.

I jumped, backed away from him. "No. Goodnight." I ran back to my room, threw myself on the bed and sobbed. I didn't want to hurt him, but that plan obviously backfired. Now what? He would hate me from now on, I just knew it. And yet...I did care about him, but did I actually love him? How had things gotten socomplicated so fast? And why did it seem like my life was spinning out of control?

* * *

The next few days were torture. No one knew about my little incident with Nightwing, and no one noticed anything different about us. I was calm and collected on the outside, but on the inside, is was screaming at myself. The only plus was that Nightwing didn't bring it up. But that didn't make me feel better. We still had our training session that week, and it was so quiet and awkward I wanted to die right then. I was still in shock over the whole thing.

 _He loves me. He's in love. With me._ Me _, of all people._ I couldn't help but think of how he didn't know what he was getting himself into. And oh how I wished I could understand what was happening. _He kissed me…_ What scared me was that I wanted him to do it again.

Yeah, it was a long week.

That day-the next day, was harder than any of the other anniversaries. I knew I should be thinking of Karana...and I was...but I had just had my first kiss the night before. You wouldn't be able to think straight either if all you could think about was that. Pretend for a moment your friend shows you a TV program and you're hooked but don't want to admit it. So basically, denial. But not quite the same for me. It's difficult to explain, but I think you have a good idea of what I'm talking about.

So with the newfound drama in my life, I was more on edge than ever. My nightmares turned into dreams in which I was skating on a frozen lake with...you know, him. It still scared me. I got super self conscious, not necessarily over my looks, but more how I acted. I felt like he could see through my act, my lie.

" _Kori." Nightwing walked over, standing at a safe distance._

 _I looked up, waiting. For what exactly, I don't know._

" _There is a spot I reserved for you for the mission, if you want to go."_

" _Oh. Thanks." I said, disappointed._ When did I become such a...well, such a girl? You're tougher than this Kori...

" _The briefing is tomorrow." He looked like he wanted to say more, but only walked away. He didn't look back._

That night I cried myself to sleep, which I hadn't done for years.

"Kori? Are you awake?" Wally cracked the door open.

"No." I said, but opened my eyes and turned my face towards him anyway.

"What's wrong, Snow Queen?"

"It's nothing." I wiped my eyes quickly.

"Sure, that's why you're crying your eyes out. Spill."

And so I told him every stinking detail. Wally just sat there and listened in silence. That's what kills me sometimes. How can I hate someone when he's always there when I need him?

"I'll talk to Nightwing if you want..."

"No! That would only make things worse!" I cried. "I don't know what to do."

"Well doing nothing isn't going to make it better."

I nodded my head miserably.

Wally looked at me for a while. "You love him."

I glared at him. "Get out."

"You do. You're afraid to because you don't want him to get hurt, and you don't want to either."

"What should I do?" I sniffed.

"You need to tell him. But not now. You have to wait for the perfect moment."

"Wally, this isn't a romance novel."

He just shrugged. "You never know."

"I should dump snow on you right now." I sighed. "Okay, I'll try it."

"Oh, and if you are ever frustrated with him, come to me. I know him better than anyone." Wally grinned.

"Okay." I blushed.

Wally got up and left the room. "Goodnight."

I watched him leave. Maybe I shouldn't hate him. Just be slightly annoyed.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up early. The mission was today. My first mission. I got in the shower, stood under the water for a long time, thinking about what might happen.

 _Maybe Nightwing and I would get stuck somewhere and we would have to interact to get out and we would rely on each other and I could tell him how I feel and..._

What was I thinking? This wasn't a romance story, no matter what Wally said. I stepped out, dried off with a towel. I brushed and blow dried my hair, and got dressed in my...what would you call it? A uniform? It was then that I looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't look as scared as I felt. In fact, I looked like a professional hero. I stood up straighter. That's better, I thought. Don't let them see your fear. I turned to the side. I was still tiny, but at least I didn't look like a starving street rat anymore...

"May I come in?" M'gann spoke softly through the door.

"Sure." I reached for a hair brush.

"Wow. Today's the big day." She said as she came in. "Are you ready?"

"I think so. I'm a little nervous."

"Oh, don't worry about that. Everyone is the first few times. I know I was. Here, give me the brush." She ran the brush through my hair a few times. "I love your hair. It's not thick and hard to brush like mine was. That's why I cut it." She set the brush down. "There. Done." We walked into my room.

"You know you've been a bit...unlike yourself this week." M'gann said lightly. "Is everything okay?"

"You know what happened, don't you." I asked.

"Yes." M'gann said meekly after a pause.

"Great." I groaned, flopping down on the bed.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to see it." She fingered my hair. "I don't think you should be concerned about what happened before, though. You won't hurt him, you know. At least not like that. Not like with-" She stopped herself, but I knew she was talking about Karana.

I gaped at her. "You've seen my past too?"

"Yes. It was constantly on your mind so..." She blushed lightly. "That wasn't your fault, by the way."

"What should I do? I don't know what to say to him."

"First, I think you should settle down a bit. I don't know what you're going to say, but I'm sure it will be the right thing."

"Really? 'Cause you don't know me very well and I'm bound to say something extremely stupid."

M'gann laughed. "You won't. You'll be fine. And before you ask, no, no one else knows about this."

"Thank you." I whispered.

"Is everything okay in here?" Artemis walked in the room.

"Oh, she's just a little nervous about the mission." M'gann answered.

"Is that it? Listen, you're gonna be fine. I've seen you in action, and I don't think the bad guys will take you lightly."

"Really?" You can never tell when someone is just trying to make you feel better.

"Well, I sure wouldn't." Wally leaned against the doorway. "It's time to be briefed on the mission."

* * *

 **Another chapter will be coming soon!**


	6. Chapter 5

**Okay next chapter!**

* * *

 _Chapter 5_

I walked out of my room surrounded by friends, grateful they were with me. The mission was simple. The Joker broke out of Arkham Asylum again, and he had an army of drones trying to take over Gotham City. The League was occupied elsewhere, so all we had to do was go in, take out the army, capture the Joker, and we'd be done. Simple, right?...I'm shaking my head no, by the way.

I glanced around the room as we waited to begin and wondered if Nightwing was looking at me. It was impossible to tell under that mask of his. I wondered what color his eyes were. And his name... I did a double take. He kissed me and I didn't know his name, or backstory or...anything about his backstory, really. I felt a little better about my reaction. Now at least I had an explanation.

"Kori? You okay?" Artemis asked I sat down beside her.

"Yeah. Fine. Just a little on edge."

"You'll do fine. It's not all that difficult, if you know what you're doing."

I sighed. "Okay…"

Nightwing debriefed us on the mission. "Alright, when we get down there there's going to be chaos. Don't forget your role in this mission. The Joker can be deadly, and I want us all coming back to Mount Justice in one piece."

 _One piece...that makes me feel better._ I followed the others to the Bio Ship. I'd been in it before-they'd wanted me to get used to flying in it. Sitting down, I lost myself in my thoughts, distracting myself from the chatter of the Team…

* * *

" _You can do it."_

" _I'm not sure about this…"_

" _Do you trust me?"_

" _...yes?"_

 _Nightwing shrugged. "Good enough." He pushed me off the platform. I held onto the bar for dear life, then let my hands slip and I fell to the net below._

" _You good?" He called down to me._

" _Yeah!" I laughed._

 _Nightwing flipped down to me. "See?" He helped me off of the net. "You have to learn how to fall first. After that-"_

" _It gets harder?"_

 _He laughed. "Yeah, pretty much. But it's the best feeling in the world, flying."_

" _What's it like? You know, just in case I can't."_

 _Nightwing paused. "Just for a second, you defy gravity, you're weightless. You're flying through the air, that in and of itself feels amazing. And then you let go...nothing feels more freeing-at least to me-than that."_

" _I can't do it though. We've been at it for weeks."_

" _You can do it. Kori, you need to experience this." He looked thoughtful. "I have an idea."_

* * *

"We're here." M'gann said quietly. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked out the window.

"Wow. That's on massive army." Robin breathed.

Artemis swore under her breath. "The Joker's not playing around this time." She murmured. Uh oh. When a hero is worried about the mission, that means they think something might go wrong. That we might be overpowered. I unstrapped myself and stood next to Wally.

"Is the situation worse than we thought?" I asked under my breath.

Wally barely nodded. I walked past him and looked out the front window with M'gann.

"M'gann...?" My voice trailed off the way it usually does when I'm asking a question.

She gave me what was supposed to be a reassuring smile. "We'll be fine. I've seen worse." But I could tell by the look on her face that she hasn't seen "worse" many time before. Still, I nodded and decided to trust the Team. They knew what they were doing. I realized soon after...I supposedly did too.

The ship landed and KF and Impulse ran out. Robin, Superboy and I ran out after them. Nightwing and the others past us, running straight for the drones. The drones had guns built into their arms, and while our suits were bullet proof, the bullets would still hit us as hard as they would have otherwise. Superboy was throwing a few of the drones around, and Robin was throwing several of the little bombs at them. I heard a noise and turned around, quickly shooting ice into the bot's center. It fell to the ground with a loud CLANK. I built up a thick wall of ice in front of us were the drones were, trapping a few inside. I knew it wouldn't hold for long, and more were still coming in from around the sides. I was afraid, but couldn't let it show. Snow was starting to fall around me, which gave me an idea. I worked up a blizzard, pushing it in the bots direction as it grew. I added a few bits and pieces of ice, too, to give the storm a kick. The wall protected us from the worst of it, but the bots inside the wall were breaking it. Robin pointed behind me and shouted something, and a long icicle grew from my hand and found its mark inside a drone.

Superboy mouthed something like "this way." We followed him inside, taking out bots as we came to them. They were easy to take out, but there were a whole lot of them. We ran through a winding maze of hallways, trying to avoid unwanted attention. Just as we reached the room the Joker was supposedly in, Nightwing and the rest ran up to us. Robin climbed up into the vents. " _The Joker's in there, alright."_ Robin said trough M'gann's telepathy. " _What do we do next?"_

" _We end this._ " Nightwing answered. And with that, they leaped out of the vents and everyone else came running through the door into the room.

"Well well, if it isn't the Sidekick Squad." The Joker was sitting at a desk at one end of the room.

"It's over, Joker." Wally (Kid Flash, at that moment) said. "Call off the army."

"Oh, I wish I could, but they had their hard-drives set on meeting you, so how could I let them down? The truth is..." The Joker pushed his chair back and rose. "I've been expecting you." Bots came through several secret doors and tunnels into the room and surrounded us. "Welcome to our humble home." He grinned evilly, the only way I'm sure he knows how.

" _What now?_ " I said to know one on particular.

" _I don't know. We're stuck._ " Wally answered.

* * *

 **And that's it until Saturday! Ooh, cliffhanger...can you hang on for that long? xD**

 **So until next week, hit that like button and review, Aleah out!**


	7. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone, Aleah here! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, liked, and followed, you guys are the best! Heyyy, the first day of Spring is tomorrow. Who's ready for some constant warm weather? I hear it'll be in the forties though. Still, it's Spring!**

 **Cryptic** **Critic** -Thankyou so much! Yeah, I can't stand them either! lol It's fun to write them though. And thanks for defending me, that was really sweet. :)

 **JadeAnneHanforth-** HERE'S MORE NOW LOL

* * *

❄❄❄ _Chapter 6❄❄❄_

I looked at him in horror. This wasn't supposed to happen. A small burst of flurries flew from my hand to the ground. Nightwing moved beside me, nudging my arm. I nodded my head. _I'm okay._ He gave a slight nod as well. I felt relieved that he was at least acknowledging me.

"And who's this?" The Joker walked up to me. "I haven't seen you before. Are you new? What do they call you?" I simply glared at him, refusing to answer. "Come now, dear, speak. You have nothing to lose at this point." He lifted my chin with his hand. His hands were cold and clammy. And don't get me started on his finger nails.

 _He's not raping you._ I reminded myself. _He's not going to. He's just looking at you to see what you're thinking._ I felt Nightwing stiffen beside me.

"Just give me a name. Your name. _What's your name_?"

 _Name name name...what name would you give someone with an element-oh..._ "I-I'm Element." I said, certain he could hear my voice shaking. I gave a little smile upon hearing the Team inside my head. _I think this is gonna stick..._

Joker's face lit up. "Oooh, you _are_ a new one! What do you do? Oh never mind, I'll find out later. Now, what to do with all of you…" I stopped listening then. I didn't need to hear the classic villain dialogue.

" _Okay, what can we do to shut him up?_ " Conner said via mind-link.

" _He'll use Joker gas, I saw him toying with some when we came in._ "

" _We can't just up and attack, there are too many drones outside._ "

" _He's trapping us in. If a few of us could squeeze past the drones and lead them away…_ "

" _Someone talk to him, please. Keep him occupied._ "

" _We'd have to keep Joker in here._ "

" _If uh,_ Element, _could freeze him in place-_ "

" _Good thinking. M'gann, Element, you're with me._ "

" _What do you want me to do?_ "

" _Think you could give him cold feet?_ "

Not bothering to answer, I glued the Joker's feet to the floor with ice and in the confusion the others ran out. The drones ran after them, leaving their leader behind, stuck to the floor. There was chaos in the hallway and before I knew it I was up on the ceiling with M'gann and Nightwing. We watched the Joker yell and try to free himself.

"Well, this looks familiar." M'gann lowered us to the floor.

"You..." The Joker couldn't think of a good comeback.

I crept closer, making bars of ice grow around him.

"We're taking you back to Arkham, Joker. Looks like the joke's on you this time." Nightwing smirked, walking around the little "prison" I'd made.

The Joker got this evil look in his eyes. "Oh, no, I'm afraid the _joke_ is on _you_!" He pressed a button and the square Nightwing and I had been standing on fell.

* * *

I couldn't scream. I could only think of how we might survive this. I sent snow down the hole hoping it would cushion our landing, but the hole seemed to go on forever. When we landed it was dark. I couldn't see anything.

"Kori?"

"I'm here!"

"Okay. We're gonna get out. I just need to-" The tunnel creaked and groaned. "Not again…"

 _Again?_ "Hey, what's-"

"Hold onto me." I hesitated, and he took my arm. "It's a cannon. Or jackinthebox. It's happened to me before."

"Nightwing…"

"It'll shoot us out, I need you to make sure we don't go...splat."

"Splat!?"

"Best way I could put it. Now hold onto me."

I held onto his arm. He pulled me closer into his chest.

"You have to be quick. I need you to make a big, no _huge_ snow pile if you can. Can you do that for me?"

I nodded. The creaking was growing louder. It must've been the handle turning…

"Kori."

"Yeah?"

"We'll be okay."

"Yeah…"

And with that, a loud pop echoed in the box, and we were suddenly in mid air, rapidly heading towards the ground far away.

* * *

" _Kori, come and play!" The lights said to me. "Come away with us!"_

 _The voices were so inviting, so beautiful. But the light was to bright, so blinding. I shrank away from it._

" _Kori, don't be afraid. The light won't hurt you."_

 _I stepped forward._

" _Please come. Don't be afraid anymore." The voice was changing. The light was making a person._

 _I walked closer. The lights danced joyfully. One didn't._

" _Don't come to close Kori. Don't come any farther."_

 _The other lights cried out in protest. "We need a playmate! We've been waiting for her for so long!"_

" _She isn't the one."_

 _I couldn't speak. My voice wasn't working. I turned away._

" _She's going back!" They screeched, bursting into giggles. "She's going away!"_

" _Kori, stay there. Don't come any closer. Don't go back. Stay here."_

 _I felt like fading away. I wanted to shrink into nothingness._

" _Focus on my voice, Kori. Focus on me."_

" _She can't speak!" They cried._

" _Kori. Focus on my voice. You'll find yours. Don't worry. You'll find yours."_

 _I listened, curious._

" _Don't be afraid when you do. Please, don't be afraid. Don't be afraid anymore."_

" _I can't." I said. "I don't know how."_

" _Let them help."_

" _No! No! Come away with us!"_

" _Let them in."_

" _Let_ us _in!"_

" _Don't stay in the dark. Don't go to close to the light."_

" _I don't understand! What are you talking about? What do you want?"_

" _Be brave…"_

" _I can't!"_

" _Kori!"_

 _I turned around. I saw her._

" _Trust me. Trust me." She walked away._

" _No! Don't go again!"_

" _You can't follow me. Not yet."_

 _I cried. "Please."_

 _She touched my hand, my hair. "It's okay. You need to go now. Please, you can't stay here long. Wake up, quickly."_

* * *

I woke up. We were outside, somewhere in the woods when I came to. Nightwing was still out, so I didn't move him. I checked to see if I was okay, which I was, only a few cuts and bruises. The pounding in my head was terribly distracting as I tried to think. "What now?" I said out loud, although I knew no one would answer. I heard a groan and turned around.

"Nightwing?" I crawled over to him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I think I landed on something." He groaned again as he rolled over.

What I saw made me gasp. He had landed on a thorn bush, and a branch of thorns was stuck in his side. "Oh...okay, this might hurt a bit." A tried to pull them out as gently as I could, one thorn at a time. Even though he never said a word, I could tell he was in pain. His breathing quickened, and sweat beaded on his forehead. Once or twice he hissed in pain, and his body stiffened. "Shhh, you're okay. Just try to relax, it will hurt less." My eyes quickly swept over him, looking for any injuries. "Okay, besides the thorns, anything else?"

"Not really. My head."

"Mine hurts too. It'll pass. I think." The thorn I had been currently working on was a stubborn one that didn't want to come out. I yanked harder.

Nightwing chuckled. "You think? Ouch!"

"Sorry, sorry. Just a few more." I tried to think of a way to tell him how I felt, how apologize for acting the way I did, but nothing came to mind. "Okay, last one." Nightwing fell on his back the second the thorn came out. "There. Is that better?"

He nodded. I stood up and looked at our surroundings. Woods. Thick woods. Might be safe to start a small fire. Maybe not. I sat back down and waited in awkward silence.

"Hey, will you please talk to me?"

I turned around. "About what? How you kissed me?" I sounded surprisingly calm.

Nightwing cleared his throat. "Yeah."

"Okay." More silence. "If you're wondering as to why I acted the way I did, I don't know you. I don't know you're name, or who you really are, nothing."

"I understand-"

"Do you? Do you really? I don't know you. You don't know _me_ either."

"Yes I do! I do know you Kori! I know you skip meals and snack in between because you just aren't hungry. I know you don't like sims but you love hitting targets. I know when you're alone you zone out a bit, finally alone with your thoughts. I know you don't like lots of attention, and when you get it you look down and smile because you don't know what to say. I know you're afraid of hurting someone again, and of someone hurting you. And I know I've ruined things by not thinking of how you'd feel."

I sat in stunned silence. Normally I'd have forgiven him by now. But for some reason I just couldn't let it go this soon. "That-that doesn't fix things." I whispered.

"Fine, if you want me to say it, then fine. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. You were vulnerable, and I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to take advantage of you like that. But that's over now and you made yourself clear so let's talk about something else, please."

"You're the one who wanted to talk." I glared at him.

"Well, I've said all I can. I don't get it-"

"How could you not understand!?" I usually don't make outbursts like that, but I felt something like fire bubbling up inside of me. "Don't you remember when I told you that I can't get close to someone because I'll get hurt? Nightwing, I _**do**_ care about you, but I'm afraid to! I'm afraid to get close to you! I loved my sister, and she died, because of me, I might add, and I loved my parents, but they dumped in an orphanage and never came back, even when they could afford to keep me around. I don't want to get hurt again! I can't take that kind of pain anymore! I want to love you, but I don't know how!" I was screaming at him by then. "Do you hear me!? _**I don't know how!**_ " I shouted. As I did, sparks flew into the air. My hands carried fire, like a torch, and my eyes held angry flames. I didn't notice until Nightwing sort of backed away, trying to figure out how to get me to calm down. That's when I looked at my hands.

* * *

 **I know, I know, another cliffhanger. Sorry, but it's just too fun! lol**

 **If I get some good reviews tonight (and this time, I _really_ mean it) I might post the next chapter tomorrow. Sound good?**

 **So until then, or next week, hit that like button and review, Aleah out!**


	8. Chapter 7

**Hello everyone, Aleah here! Where did everyone go, I only got one review! I even tried to post as late as possible just in case. So, that'** **why I didn't post the next chapter last Sunday, jsyk. Still, thank you** 22dreamer **for your review. Sorry to have kept you waiting xD Now on with the chapter!**

* * *

❄❄❄ _Chapter 7❄❄❄_

 **Gaaa! I'm on fire! Putitout putitout putitout!** My mind screamed. I leaped back, ice spread across the ground, and snowflakes took the place of sparks. I looked up at Nightwing, shock was clearly written all over his face. I slowly took a few steps back, staring at my shaking hands. And I ran. I tripped over rocks and roots and branches hit my face. I felt nothing. Finally I sank down under a bush, trying to keep from shaking. _What have I done? What did I do? Why...?_ Tears took the place of flames in my eyes turning into little ice droplets as they rolled down my face. Fear took the place of anger in my heart once again.

" _Don't be afraid anymore...let them help…"_

"I will never... _never,_ not be afraid." I whispered to myself. "But I don't want to be…I don't want to be afraid anymore..."

It seemed like hours before I heard the quiet footsteps that belonged to only one person.

"Kori?" Nightwing knelt by the bush. "Come on out." I didn't want to. I really didn't want to.

"I'm sorry." I whispered softly, hardly able to hear my own voice. "I didn't...I don't know how I...I can't..."

He reached a hand in, held it out to me. "Please come out?" He whispered.

I gave him a muffled no. He sighed and sat back. "I'm sorry, too. I should have realized...I should have thought of how you felt...I didn't think, I'm sorry."

My tears increased and fell faster up to the point where I could barely hold in a sob.

"You still want to know my name?"

I didn't answer.

"Dick."

"Excuse me?" My eyes shot open.

Nightwing laughed. "No, no, that's my name."

"...Dick?"

"Richard, if you'd prefer." He said, stifling a laugh.

I smiled to myself, hiding my face even though he couldn't see. I remember thinking he'd better not have made that up.

"Kori, please come out?" Nightwing-Richard-held out his hand again. This time I took it. Before I knew it he was hugging me, and I felt safe again. I somehow managed to calm down, though it took a few minutes. He pulled away gently, but didn't let go. "Are you okay?"

"I-I think so…" I shook my head. "At least I will be."

"Good." He pulled me to him again. " Are we okay?"

I smiled into his shoulder. "Of course. Always." I could feel him smiling.

After a long pause, Dick said, "Well it looks like you have a new power."

"How is that possible?" I asked, pulling back a bit.

"It's possible that you have lots of hidden powers, all based on your emotions." He stood up. "Fear is ice and snow..."

"Fire is anger..." I added, standing with him.

"There's no telling how many different elements you have."

"Maybe... How are we going to get back?"

"They'll find us. Don't worry." He began walking.

"Shouldn't we complete the mission?" I said.

"We might be able to sneak back... I'm pretty sure they took most of the drones out." I glanced at his side.

"Are you still bleeding?"

"Eh, not much. Hardly hurts."

"How did a thorn bush tear through your suit?"

"Must've already had a rip in it. It's bulletproof, and mostly tear resistant, but somehow this happens."

"Thorn proof suit?"

"We actually have some of those for when we go up against Ivy."

I walked beside him, happy to have my friend back. And maybe...maybe I had gained more than friendship.

* * *

A few hours later we were standing outside the Joker's fortress. Drones were lying on the ground, and none came out to get us.

"What now?" I whispered.

"I guess we go in." Nightwing-um, Dick?-Richard?-said quietly.

And so we did, slowly. There was no sign of the Joker, or his robot army.

"I'm guessing they left." Nightwing said to me.

"They couldn't have...wait..." I looked at the wall.

"What is it?"

I ran my fingers against the wall. "There's a...a crack, I think."

He walked over to me and touched the wall. "I think you're right."

"Shh, listen." We pressed our ears up against the wall.

"No, that one!" Beeping. "I don't care, just get it off my new shoes!"

"A secret passage!" I whispered excitedly. "And Joker's inside!"

"Let's finish him off." Nightwing placed a bomb on the wall, then another, and another. We ran for cover, and waited for the explosion. They went off one by one. Parts of the ceiling fell, and dust flew around in the air. I stood up, coughing, staring at the place the wall should be. It was still there.

"Now they'll come out." He explained. "The room was some kind of bomb shelter, but now they'll think we came back and are attacking. We can take them."

"Just the two of us?" I raised an eyebrow.

"You have two powers now. I figured you might want some hands on experience." He just had time to shoot me a smile before the door opened.

"Curse those meddling little..." Joker stopped ranting when he saw us. The drones power cells were in need a good charge, so they were slow. I guessed it was because we destroyed their charging station on the way in hours earlier.

"This ends now." Nightwing said to the Joker.

"Never." He growled.

I glanced down at a can of gasoline. Then kicked it over. It pooled around one of the drones legs, and upon seeing that I quickly set it on fire. It spread all across his body. He ran around, trying to put it out, ultimately setting the other drones on fire. I had to step back, because I didn't know if I was fireproof or not.

"Ga! What the…" Joker stared at his army in disbelief. Almost half of them were on fire. "Water! Jump into the water!" He screamed. The fire drones fell into one big heap, and started melting together. The others charged at us. Nightwing pulled out his bowstaff, and charged them. I was about to join him when the Joker grabbed my arm and yanked me back.

"Oh no you don't." He smirked. "You're not getting away this time."

I twisted my arm out of his grasp, and two long ice daggers grew from my hands. Joker pulled out a sword. He aimed for my head and I ducked, bringing my knee up between his legs as I rose. He grunted, and nearly keeled over. I swung at his arm, but he moved, thrusting the sword at my torso. I leaped back, and sent a shower of ice pellets at him. He yelped, jumped back. That's when he pulled out a gun. The first time he fired the pistol I was able to duck down. I rolled, jumped, ducked, and sent snow flying everywhere. Once he had to stop to reload, I saw my chance. I built up a wall of fire around us, and threw a few snowballs at his hand, hoping to knock the gun out of his grip. No such luck. He fired again, and this time, I sent a fireball to meet the bullet. It exploded with a little _bang_ , surprising the both of us. I jumped high over his head, sending little fireballs to meet each bullet he shot at me. I landed behind him, and as he turned I kicked his shin. Hard. The Joker fell to his knees, still holding the gun, firing it at me. With each bullet he shot at me, each fireball I sent to counterattack, I took a step forward. The last fireball I sent at him singed his eyebrows. I knocked the gun out of his hand and glued his feet to the floor with ice again.

"Okay. Are we done now?" I made a new set of daggers, as I had dropped the other pair when he pulled out the gun.

"No. I won't be defeated! You have not won!"

"Is this a trap?" I sighed. I tried to look more put out than scared.

The Joker gave one of his evil laughs. "Oh yes. Yes, it is. You're in deep trouble, young lady. And here's a twist..." He jumped up and pushed me down. I noticed that he wasn't wearing shoes. They were still frozen to the floor. He pulled out a remote and aimed another gun at my head. "If I press this, this entire building and everything in it will explode. Except me. I will be safe inside this wall," he said, pointing behind him. "And then will eliminate all the heroes on earth. And then, only then..."

"Will you be supreme leader, blah blah blah. You villains are all the same. Power, more power, kill all heroes."

"But only one will rise above the rest. That's me." He reloaded his gun. "So pick your last words carefully, child. I haven't got all day, you know."

Just then, right as the Joker was about to press the button, Dick swung in the ring of fire on his grappling hook, knocking the Joker down as he landed. "Come on!" He said, holding out his hand. I took it, and held on to him tightly as we swung out. The ceiling started to collapse, and he let go of the grappling hook. We landed under a gap in the ceiling, just as the rest of it fell. Dick covered my body with his, and minutes seemed to turn into hours as the dust settled.

"You okay?" He asked, rolling off me.

I nodded, coughing up all kinds of good stuff. "We should get back soon."

"Come on, then." He said after a few minutes, getting up and offering me his hand. "Let's go find the others."

I glanced behind him. "Done." The other heroes were arresting the Joker, pulling him out from the rubble.

"Hey, Nightwing! Element! Look who we found!" Kid Flash yelled.

* * *

 **Okay, so at this point I'd like to ask what your favorite chapter, character, quote, scene, basically what you like about _The Fear Inside Me._**

 **Anywho, until next week, hit that like button and review, Aleah out!**


	9. Chapter 8

**Hello everyone, Aleah here! I know I know, it's been two weeks. But I said that might happen! So anyways, sorry for not posting last week, I had a busy (and lazy) two weeks. On to the reviewers!**

 **SylviaCassieSage-** Yeah, that was a fun chapter to write. I rewrote her rant and reaction five times! That part wasn't as fun lol. I'm glad you like Kori/Element. xD

 **kattenmusen10-** Don't worry, you will. There's a lot more coming. :)

 **shika93-** Aw, thanks! It's important to start out strong to draw readers in, so I'm glad I got something right!

 **JadeAnneHanforth-** Yup, I sure did! Lol Yassss, I love writing these two together. Haha, the Snow Queen bit is gonna be a thing with her and Wally.

 **Okay, and on with the chapter!**

* * *

❄❄❄ _Chapter 8❄❄❄_

I was relieved when it was over. Three League members came to take Joker away, and it wasn't long before we were back in the Bio-Ship. The ride home was much more enjoyable for me, and this time I could talk freely with Nightwing-um, Dick. It still felt a bit awkward. We hadn't actually talked about it much. But that doesn't mean we weren't okay.

We spent the rest of the afternoon lounging in the living room, watching cheesy movies. They said it helps keep their minds off of the disturbing things they see on missions. And it worked, for a while. Until I was alone.

And that's how Richard and I found ourselves in the kitchen that night, eating while sitting on the floor.

"I probably should have just frozen him from the wait down instead if just his shoes…"

"And his hands." Nightwing smirked.

"Well yes, but-"

"And maybe just trapping him in a dome thick enough to muffle his voice."

"You're teasing." I was getting better these things.

"Yes, but seriously...you did great. Really, taking on the Joker alone? Amazing." He spoke softly as if some else might hear.

"You didn't do to bad yourself." I said, glancing away.

He smiled. "So, you said you wanted to know more about me."

"Yes. Backstory."

"I guess it's only fair since you told me yours."

"Not all of it." I sighed.

"If you don't want to tell me now that's okay. But that means you'll only get the summary of mine." He teased again.

"That's okay. Like you said, it's only fair. But before you begin, I have a question."

"Sure, what is it?"

I smirked. "What should I call you?"

"You mean by which name would I prefer you call me?"

"Yes."

"Whichever you're most comfortable with."

"No no no no no, that's the easy answer. What do the people close to you call you?"

He smiled. "I told you before, it's Dick."

"Which do you feel comfortable with me calling you?"

"Whichever is fine, to be honest."

"Okay."

Dick shook his head. "So, my family were acrobats. Probably some of the best out there. The whole thing was a family act, it was always fun. I grew up under the big top you know."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Everyone there was like family, it…it hurt leaving them." He paused. "My parents died when I was nine. I saw the whole thing."

"How did they…"

"They fell." He said shortly. "My entire family fell." It was clear this was something he didn't talk about often. The atmosphere had grown quite heavy at this point. "The trapeze had been sabotaged."

"That's horrible." I whispered. I could hear the screams, the sickening crack, the thud…I could practically feel the panic bubbling up inside of me as if I had been there myself. I could see them falling…

"Batman found me not long after that." He said quickly, wanting to move on. "Well, the man who is Batman. My last living relative had been paralyzed from the fall, so I had been alone for a while. He took me in as his own, without a second thought. Of course though, it was only a matter of time until I found out who he was. He promised me he would find the criminals as Batman, and made it clear he didn't want me to get involved." He let out a small laugh. "So of course, I go to the Batcave, find out where he went and practically ran after him. I've been fighting this fight ever since."

There was silence for a moment. It was a lot to take in. "You know, I didn't want to be part of this."

He looked up.

"I didn't want to play hero. I only wanted to get to the point where I could control my powers well enough. Then I would leave."

His brow furrowed in concentration. "You won't do that now though…right?"

"I'm actually still uncertain about that…" I tried to avoid his gaze. "I have a lot of conflictions. I told myself not too get too involved…too attached. Now I think I have…it makes it all the more difficult."

"Well for what it's worth," He smiled gently, "I'm glad you're here. And you're doing great, you've adapted here very well."

"I'm afraid." I whispered. "And I always will be. This isn't for me…I can't do this."

Dick put an arm around me. "Everyone's afraid. It's part of us, always has been and always will be. I know I was at first. Even just crime fighting with the Team in the early days. And you can do this, I know you can. It's your decision…but I think you should stay. Even if you don't want a part on the Team. Think about it?"

I nodded, shifting closer to him.

"Is this okay?" He whispered.

"You know it is." I answered, deciding it was okay to rest my head on his chest. "What is this…?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's love." Was his blunt reply. But it was enough. Maybe it was love. Maybe it was.

* * *

"I have an idea."

" _Should I be worried?"_

" _No. Maybe a little if you're extra cautious." I couldn't really tell because of the mask, but I was almost certain he winked at me._

" _What is that?"_

" _A swing."_

" _All the way up there?"_

 _He laughed. "You ask a lot of questions. Relax."_

 _I let him help me onto the makeshift swing, and allowed him to follow suit._

" _Okay, ready?" He pushed off and I dared to look down. It felt disorienting, being so high up. But it also felt freeing._

" _We're going to jump off now." He said calmly before dropping down with me in tow. It took me a second to catch my breath._

" _How are you the leader again?" I asked, gripping his arm tightly._

" _I'm not acting quite like Nightwing right now." He smirked. "And it's well known Nightwing is the leader. Not…well not who I really am."_

" _It's odd…you have two lives…I only have one."_

 _Nightwing scoffed. "Consider yourself lucky. It can be nice, but having to split your time between two lives, two_ worlds, _really, isn't easy. You know I find that I only ever feel like myself when I'm here?"_

" _Your other life isn't normal then."_

" _No, it is. But you know what's really scary is when this life starts to become normal."_

" _I don't think I'd fit in anywhere else."_

" _Then let this be your home."_

" _What even is a home?" I asked dully._

" _A place where you can be yourself, without having to worry about anyone or anything. Somewhere you feel safe."_

" _So…you have nowhere." He gave me a questioning look. "I mean, you have a secret identity. You can't truly be yourself here…or in your other life."_

" _Oh I do have a home. It just doesn't have as many people. It's top secret though." He put a finger to his lips._

" _I'll find out someday." I taunted._

" _I know you will. I would like it if I was the one you heard it all from though." He smiled._

 _I pretended to think. "Okay. I won't go poking around."_

" _Well that's a relief." He laughed. "But I promise…you'll know the truth someday."_

 _I got the strangest feeling he wasn't talking about his past._

* * *

 **Okay. Kind of short but I will absolutely post next Saturday. For this week I'd like to hear what you think will happen next. I'll bet you'll never guess... ;)**

 **I'll give you a hint- _family_. And that's all I can say without ruining the next chapter. **

**So until next week, hit that like button and review, Aleah out!**


	10. Chapter 9

**Hello everyone, Aleah here! I just remembered that I'm going away for the weekend. So here's the next chapter a day early! Thanks to everyone who liked/followed/reviewed! Love you guys! Or girls...xD**

 **JadeAnneHanforth-** More sweetness to come! Um, no. I tried NaNo last year and couldn't remember to keep up! I didn't even think of Camp NaNo until you mentioned it.

 **On with the chapter!**

* * *

 _Chapter 9_

Some of the unspoken rules of being a hero; 1, never reveal your secret identity to anyone. 2, never trust a child to keep a secret. If he/she knows you have powers, or are a hero, you're in trouble and have to lay low for a bit. 3, never get DNA work done in "hero form." People could figure out who you are that way. The only people you can really trust are your teammates and leaders. And the police, but that's not the point. I broke all three of those rules that day.

It had been two weeks after we had defeated the Joker when we heard that some kid at a hospital had 'powers'. They had been trying to reach either us or the League for a long time, and sounded so relieved when we got in touch with them. The letter was passed around, and I couldn't help but remember how Karana had tried again and again to no avail to reach the League, or anyone who might be able to help. She was smart about it too, and traced all the leads and rabbit trails until there were no more.

Anyways, the letter looked something like this:

" _Justice League (or Team),_

We've tried so hard and looked so long for answers, and I don't even know if this was a good lead, or a real one. Hopefully we've reached either the Justice League or the Team. We need your help. It would appear that we've found a...well a metahuman. We've been trying to contact you for years to tell you about him. He needs help.

It's a little boy, about nine years old and we've had him since he was five. His name is Ethan. I've been with him since it was suspected that he was sick. At first strange things happened occasionally, and that was it. Now he has a cancer that just keeps spreading. Just a short time ago he moved to stage four. It's everywhere.

He has powers, that I am sure of. Only a few of us know, and we haven't told a soul. It looks like-like levitation? He can make things float, and he practices all the time. He needs help beyond what we can give. I don't know how I want you to help. I don't even know if you can. But please...please at least come see him.

 _The Hope Hospital Staff._ "

I had stood up and pleaded with Dick. "We have to go!" I held up the letter. "He needs help!"

"This could be a scam. How could they have known how to find us? It doesn't make sense."

"It's no different from all the letters my sister sent. She searched and searched, and must've sent a dozen letters. Karana tried to find help, but no one responded. Where was the League then? They need us, _now_."

"I don't know...we might be able to slip in unnoticed…"

"Please talk to them. If anything, just talk to them."

"I've been typing for the past five minutes."

"Oh."

* * *

In the end, it was decided that I would be the one to go. I was to gather information, make no promises, and come straight back. I did all but one of those things...sort of. I slipped in through a window several floors up-super stealth mode!-and waited quietly for the nurse, Janet, to come in. I had a lot of time to think.

What would have happened if Karana had gotten the League's attention? Where would I be now? What would I be? I'm sure I would've been happier, and maybe some things that shouldn't have happened wouldn't have. Maybe I would've been with the Team in its earlier stages. After being trained for a long time of course…

My head turned sharply as the door opened.

"Hello? Element, right?"

I stood up. "Yes."

"I'm Janet. Thank you so much for coming. You don't know what this means to us."

"I have a good guess…" I said, mostly to myself.

"I know you must be very busy, but this won't take long. Follow me please."

"Sure." I followed her into another room.

"I've got some copies of all his medical folders, and some notes I wrote up myself. I'll have you meet him, and then we'll talk and send you on your way."

She sounded very professional. "Thanks. I'm surprised you were able to contact us."

"I was too. I didn't think it would work, but we had to try."

"My sister was the same way when we were younger. She tried to find someone to help me." I said quietly. I figured since I would never see her again it would be alright to let a few things slide. Besides, it wasn't exactly a secret.

"She sounds wonderful. You must know what it's like then? It's difficult for him...having to keep a secret like this. That's why he can't have many friends. I trust little Ethan, but I'm not sure about the other kids." Janet lowered her voice.

"Ethan? That's his name, right?"

"Yes, his parents abandoned him when he was three, when they discovered that he had medical issues. He stayed in an orphanage until he was five, and he's been in different hospitals ever since." She opened the door. "Ethan? You have a visitor." The little boy, Ethan, sat up a bit.

"Wow..." He breathed. He looked so small... I stood at the foot of his bed.

"Hi." I wasn't sure what to say. Fortunately, he did.

"I don't think I know your name. Are you new?"

"It's Element. And yes."

"What powers do you have?" He asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Ice. And fire. Want to see?" Ethan nodded, his smile seemed to light up the whole room.

Janet smiled. "I'll leave you two alone for a bit."

I nodded then turned back to Ethan. I l turned over my hand and let snow fall from it. Then I made little mini figures on the nightstand, a little ice rink and snowmen. Ethan laughed when one of them fell over. I held fire in my hands, afraid to do anything else with it for fear I might burn the hospital down.

"Oh, cool!" I melted the snow and sat down on the bed.

"So, Ethan, they wanted me to see what you can do."

Ethan nodded. "I didn't think anyone would come." He said as he casually made a vase float. My mouth fell open. "I'm kind of surprised you chose to believe us. No one thought you would." He placed it down and looked at me again. "What do you want me to lift?"

"Uh...um, the-the chair." I stuttered. He lifted it.

"I only use them for my amusement." He said. "It gets pretty boring in here."

"You'll make some friends soon." I said awkwardly.

"You don't have to say that." He smiled sadly. "I know it's not true."

"I used to think that way too...but you'll find someone."

"I'm dying. Did you know that? I don't have time to look for friends. It wouldn't be fair to them."

"Why?"

"I would die. I would die and leave them."

I had to take a deep breath. This was hitting too close to home…

"I know who my parents are...I see them on the news and on their website and whatnot. They left me when I was three. They don't seem to care much. Saying they had a daughter once, and that she died."

"Ethan...my parents left me too. Never came back, and I was much older than you. And if I can recover from it, so can you. It took a long time...but I'm okay. Okay?"

Ethan just nodded.

Janet poked her head in the door. "Time for your checkup, Ethan. Element, thank you for coming."

I waved bye to Ethan. As soon as the door closed I turned to Janet. "Could I speak with you for a minute?" We stepped out into the hall. "Ethan seems...what's his last name?"

"Anderson. Ethan Anderson."

My heart nearly stopped. Not possible. _Not_ possible.

"Why do you ask?"

"That-that's my last name." I whispered. It just slipped out.

Her eyes grew wide. "Okay. Don't worry, I'm good at keeping secrets. Do you want some DNA work done?" I nodded, unable to speak. Janet lead me into another room. "This won't take long."

* * *

"Well?" I rose from my chair, nearly knocking it over.

"It's a boy." Janet said, amazed that we are related. "He is your brother." I sank back down. Made sense. Irresponsible parents, orphanage, powers. Yeah. He could be my brother. No, he _is_.

"There are a few things you need to know about him." Janet said. "He has been in several hospitals fighting this slow cancer for over three years now. We keep operating, thinking that we finally got it, when it pops up again. He's been here for _three years_ , Element."

"Please, Kori." The words just slipped out again. "My name is Kori."

"Oh...okay..." Janet obviously hadn't been expecting that. "Well then...Kori, um, Ethan has been here a long time, and I don't think he'll be here for much longer. I'm sure he thinks so as well, although we haven't told him. We can't operate on him now, his body isn't strong enough anymore. It won't be long."

"So we shouldn't tell him we're related."

"Oh no, on the contrary, I think you should. And please come as often as you can. I know he'd love it if you did. You should tell him."

"Could you tell him? I don't know what I would say."

Janet smiled. "Of course." I was about to leave, when Janet stopped me. "Just remember, you don't have much time left with him. Only a few months. Expect the worst, and you'll be pleasantly surprised how long you two had together."

I nodded, and walked out of the hospital.

* * *

 **I MISS ALL MY REVIEWERS WHERE DID YOU GO.**

 **In all seriousness though, feedback is definitely welcome. Guesses on what will happen next...Ideas (even though it's already been written doesn't mean I can't change things)...anything. xD**

 **So until next week, hit that like button and review, Aleah out!**


	11. Chapter 10

**Hello everyone, Aleah here! I have some news I think you'd like to hear, read the bit at the end of the chapter to find out. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, liked and followed this week. You guys (or girls lol) are amazing! Love your support! (almost typed _yur_ for _your_ , lol).**

 **kattenmusen10-** That was my goal ;) Crash, glad you like!

 **Digidestined10-** Love the surprised face lol :O

 **JadeAnneHanforth-** YES YAY!

 **Mara Kate-** I don't know, I have an active imagination I guess. :) Comes in handy sometimes. _"Am I right or am I right?"_ Lol You'll see... And thankyou!

 **Okay, on with the chapter! Read the bit at the end!**

* * *

❄❄❄ _Chapter 10❄❄❄_

I was still in shock when I went back home. It's funny how I had started to think of Mount Justice as home after how hard I tried not to. I had finally started to put my past behind me. And then something like this comes up. I gave my report as if nothing had happened though, made some excuse about being tired and went to bed. But those four words ran through my head.

 _I have a brother._

And I was worried about him. To be honest I couldn't believe my parents. For years they were the source of so much of my pain, my fear. And yet I stayed, I waited. Because I had hope. I had hoped they would come for me. And now they've done the same thing to this little boy. _Unbelievable_.

"Kori."

"Hmm?" I turned to see Dick standing behind me. "What is it?"

"Just wanted to see if you were okay. You look almost...dazed. Did something happen?"

"Nothing gets past you." I tried to smile. "Yes."

When I didn't say anything else he nodded, then took my hand and led me down the corridor to his room. "Go on in." He motioned towards the door. As soon as I sat down he asked again. "What happened?"

"Ethan...he was…" I paused, collecting my thoughts. "He has my last name."

"What do you mean?"

"He has my last name. He looked...similar to Karana and I. We have the same face, I mean."

"Okay…"

"And Janet asked if I wanted some DNA work done-"

"You didn't."

"I did." I said sheepishly. "I know it wasn't exactly safe, or...well, wise...but I found out something."

"You don't mean-"

"Ethan Anderson is my brother."

Dick stared at me in disbelief.

"That's what I thought too!" I said. "But it makes sense. Irresponsible parents. Orphanage. Powers."

He just shook his head and sat down beside me. "You told the nurse...?"

"Yes, I know, I know! It was stupid, but...I trust them. And I'm going to see Ethan tomorrow morning."

"I never said it was stupid-"

"I know." We stared at each other for a bit. "I don't know what to do."

* * *

"How did you sleep?" Dick sat down beside me.

"Well enough." I sighed.

"You know you can ask for help."

"I know. But...could we not tell the others yet? I don't know wh-"

"Not telling who what?" Wally walked, or rather _ran_ over to us. "Is someone going on an adventure? Can I go too?" He asked, imitating a little kid. "But seriously. What are you doing."

"Kori's going back to the hospital in the morning." Dick said with a smile in his eyes.

"I have a promise to keep!" I said, indignant.

"To whom and why?" Wally sat on the edge of his seat.

"Just a little kid. He's dying and I want to visit him as much as I can." I left out the whole 'and we're related' thing.

"Well, good luck." Wally left the room, heading for the kitchen.

"I still can't believe I made a promise like that…" I mumbled to myself.

"You regret it?"

I sighed. "I don't like promises. The way people miss use them. You can't promise someone that they'll be okay, because maybe they won't. You can't promise someone that they'll be safe, because chances are, they won't be." I paused. "The night of the accident, dad was driving us home. We had been out all day, at a mall, I think. Our parents had gotten us each a candybar, which of course was a treat for us. Some boy stole mine and ran away with it before I could notice. Karana split hers with me, and promised to play outside with me when our parents were sleeping. She wasn't able to keep that promise." I took a deep breath. "No, I don't regret it. I just wish that the promise had been valid."

Dick readjusted himself on the couch before looking me in the eye. "You promised him that you'd visit him as often as you could, correct?"

I nodded.

"And will you?"

I nodded again.

He smiled gently at me. "Well, that seems pretty valid to me." He paused. "That's why you didn't believe me when we first met. When I promised to come back."

I nodded. "So many people have promised me things. And each time they have failed to fulfil them, or realize the importance of the promise they made. Most people don't understand what a promise really is or what it means. Plus...I dwelled too much on the last thing my sister was telling me...I think I brought this upon myself." I smiled weakly.

"Well, if it's alright, I'd like to promise you something."

"W-what is it?" I asked.

Dick grinned. "I'll start small. I promise to look over Ethan's files with you after dinner. Is that okay?"

"Okay." On impulse I leaned over and kissed his cheek. Just a small, quick one, but his eyes shone as if I'd handed him the world.

"Uh, I have to go help repair the ship..." He gave my arm a gentle squeeze and got up. "I'll see you at dinner."

"Bye." I watched him leave, inwardly grinning at how hard he was trying to keep his face from splitting in two.

* * *

The next morning I went dressed in regular clothing, still smiling to myself because Dick had kept his promise. That didn't mean I wasn't nervous, however. I felt like there was an internal earthquake inside of me as I walked in the building.

"Ah, Kori, welcome back!" Janet walked around the front desk. "I told Ethan last night." Janet was saying to me as we walked. "He was so excited he couldn't sleep. He can't wait to meet you, the real you."

The real me. The normal me. I wanted to make this new relationship work. I already lost a sibling, and I was about to lose another. The old me would just back away, to protect myself from getting hurt. But the Team changed me. Now I was determined to get to know him as well as I could, to let him know he wasn't alone, that someone loved him. I was sure I would. I hoped I would. I knew I would be hurt when he eventually did die, but that would happen anyway, even if he wasn't sick. Suddenly, I was afraid to go in. What if he didn't like me?

"Kori?" Janet's voice brought me back down to earth.

I opened the door and walked into the room. Ethan was sitting in his bed, his flushed cheeks stood out against his pale skin. He looked so small sitting there...

"Hey, little guy." I said softly. My heart was pounding.

"You're really my sister?" He asked. He already knew, he just wanted to hear me say it.

"Yes. I am." Tears filled my eyes, blurred my vision. "And I love you. I don't know you, but I love you." I reached down and hugged him, my heart filled with joy as he hugged me back.

"You're glowing!" Ethan said, shielding his eyes.

"How...?" I looked down at the exotic pattern on my arms. "What on earth..?"

"How did you do that?"

"I...I don't know..." I concentrated on forming the light into a ball. First one, then another, and then several more flew to the ceiling and formed the pattern similar to the one on my skin. Ethan's eyes were wide, his face shone like the sun. Or was it just my powers reflecting off his skin?

"Wow, that's amazing!" He breathed.

"Yeah, it is." I murmured. _Joy..._

"What's your name? Your _real_ name?" Ethan asked.

I paused to make another ball of light. "Koriand'r. My name...it's Koriand'r Anderson."

"Wow. Can I just call you Kori?"

I laughed. "Of course you can. That's what I call myself." I made a miniature giraffe with the light.

"That's my favorite! How did you know?" Ethan cried upon seeing the floating light.

"It is? I didn't know." _But now I do._ I said to myself as I made a giraffe family. A brother and sister, facing the world alone.

* * *

"Why did they leave us?" Ethan asked quietly. We had been talking about the orphanages we had lived in, when the topic changed to our parents.

"Who knows why anyone does anything." I answered mercilessly. "They didn't want me after Karana died, and..."

"Who's Karana?"

I sighed. I forgot to tell him. "Karana was my... _our_ older sister. Two years older than me. She helped me keep my powers a secret."

"Was she nice?" He interrupted.

"Yes. She was very nice. Sometimes I don't think I deserved her. She tried several times to contact the Justice League, hoping they could help me."

"Well, what happened to her?"

I couldn't tell him the truth yet. So I told him what everyone thought happened. "She died in a car accident. Hit her head on a window."

"Ouch." Ethan winced.

I grimaced too. "Yeah, ouch. I was in the car, too. No, I wasn't injured. Our father was driving. It was dark out, and the road was slippery. I was about ten, Karana was twelve. A few cars, including ours, spun out of control and crashed into each other." _Tell him._ My mind yelled at me. "As the car spun out of control, I shot ice into her heart. Not on purpose. Even if she had survived that, she did actually hit her head on the window. We all heard it." That sickening thud of her head hitting the window...

"What did she look like?" Ethan sat back against the pillows, expecting lots of details.

"Well..." I took a deep breath. "She was a good few inches taller than me. I always looked up to her, not just because of her height. She had waist long black hair-almost brown but not quite... Hazel eyes, long dark lashes. Both our parents had brown eyes. I must've gotten my blue eyes from my first power." I looked at Ethan's eyes. They were a mixture of reddish brown and gray. Strange.

"What was she like?" He asked, his strange yet beautiful eyes begging for details.

"She was patient, and especially kind to me. Adored our parents. She was...'the sweetest child' our friends' parents 'had ever known.' I remember hearing them say that once. I had been feeling neglected all that year. And alone. And scared. I think that was the year she died. That was the only time I hated her that I can remember."

"Did she love you?"

"Yeah. She did." I stopped talking for a while, swamped by emotions that crashed down on me in a giant wave. When I spoke again, I was quiet. "Our parents put me in that orphanage because they couldn't keep me that year. They left me there the next because they didn't care about me anymore. They left you because they didn't want a sick kid.'

"I know that. But you'll stay, right, Kori? Why else would you be here?"

"Yes." I said, smiling gently at him. "I'm staying right here."

* * *

It was late, and I was tucking Ethan in and singing a song I remember Karana singing to me when I was his age. I had stayed the whole day on accident. But was I sorry? No. Never.

" _Love you forever_

 _Wherever you go._

 _Just know that I'm with you,_

 _and you won't feel alone._

 _Love you in the twilight blue_

 _Always holding on to you._

 _Nothing will hurt you, never fear_

 _As dark creeps in, I hold you near._

 _Love you you forever_

 _Wherever you go._

 _Just know that I'm with you,_

 _and you you won't feel alone._ "

Ethan's eyelids slowly closed, his breathing regulated as he fell asleep. I heard Janet sigh contently behind me, obviously touched by the gentle lullaby.

"That was beautiful." Janet said as I walked to the door of the room. "I know he was happy you came. Just look at that face. I do declare, he looks like a little angel."

He did. The moonlight shining through the cracks in the curtains falling on his pale face, his soft brown hair, so silky, so smooth...the flush on his cheeks that reminded me of a baby...Yes, he looked like an angel.

"Thanks for telling him about me."

"Oh, you should have seen his face. Like he wanted to believe me, but couldn't until you told him yourself. It was actually better that I told him first, I think, or he wouldn't have believed _you_." Janet smiled at me. "I'm going to enjoy your visits, Kori. You're a very nice young woman." Janet stopped at the door. "I suppose you have to get going now."

"Tell Ethan I'll come as often as I can. Not every day, just..." I couldn't think of the right words.

"I know. I'll tell him. I'll see you later ice girl." Janet smiled and walked back to the front desk.

I walked home...Home!...with a smile on my face.

* * *

 **Okay! New stuff!**

 **So fun fact, we are halfway through with this FF, say whatttttt? Crazy!**

 **Anywhozzles, I am going to be writing something I'm calling _A Different Point of View._ It's just that: someone else's POV for each chapter. I'll be writing little shorts for my story, not full chapters though. I will be posting those on Sundays, so keep an eye out!**

 **So until nest week (or tomorrow, lol), hit that like button and review/follow/like (lol), Aleah out!**


	12. Chapter 11

**Hello everyone, Aleah here! I know it's late, but I had some edits to do and I was stuck but I'm posting now! Thanks to those who reviewed, you're the best!**

 **Cryptic Critic-** Thankyou! Lol that it would.

 **'Kay, so on with the chapter!**

* * *

❄❄❄ _Chapter 11❄❄❄_

March 15. My birthday. It had snuck up on me that year. I hadn't remembered it until the day before. I had spent the morning thinking over what I would do the next day, maybe I would go see my alley, or maybe my old house. Maybe I would stay here on my bed and mourn the life I could've had. Before the accident, I had thought I was safe, and loved. After it...I questioned every motive, and every word my parents had ever said to me.

My room suddenly seemed so much smaller, transforming the beige walls into an ugly olive green, the one bed into two, and the hard floor into worn carpet. I saw all the conversations with my sister, and all the changes. I saw myself that night, wishing my dad would come home and tell my mom and me what happened to Karana. I saw my mom sit with a younger me as my dad came in. I saw them crying. I saw myself that night lying on her bed as ice crept up the walls. I felt the pain as my next birthday came and went without my sister. I saw my mom selling Karana's things, packing up mine. I saw them leaving me.

I ran. I couldn't breathe, and I got up and ran out. Out of the room, out of the mountain, out of the Zeta beam, out into the city. There was a crushing weight upon my chest, I can't explain it fully. It wasn't the first time, but that didn't make it any less terrifying. I don't know how long I ran, but when I stopped I had a breakdown. I remember falling near a playground in a bad neighborhood, coincidentally the one I had grown up in. I had gone there so many times as a child, crying when the boy next to me dumped sand on my pants. Now my tears were for something completely different.

I remember one of the orphanages I was sent to. I had gone through three before I left. The first the one my parents left meat, the second the worst place to put a child, and the third...the third was good. They were kind to me. But anyways, the second one would go on picnics sometimes, and would play hide and seek. Well one time I was it, and I was looking for some kids in the woods when everyone packed up and left. I was still looking, of course, oblivious to what was going on. Maybe they miss counted, maybe they thought I was there. Either way they left me, and it was starting to rain. It took me an hour to find my way back and they scolded me for sneaking out.

Yeah I cried that night. What child wouldn't? I had a breakdown then just like this one in the woods. But nothing lasts so eventually the tears stopped. And the screaming started. Why do I have to be stuck in the past? Why can't I move on? Why does it hurt so much even after so many years have passed? After all that had happened to me, all the good those past few months, why did this have to be a problem?

And when I sat up I saw fire on the ground before me. I let it burn for a while. I let it consume everything around it. And then I put it out and walked back home.

* * *

" _Recognized, Element, B020._ " The electronic voice alerted anyone in the room that I had arrived. Artemis and M'gann jumped up.

"Where were you?" M'gann asked.

"Walking." I forced a smile.

"Okay, well we have something for you. In your room." Artemis nudged me into the hallway.

"What?"

"Go see!"

I half walked, half ran to my room. As soon as I opened the door, I heard people shout "surprise!" from a corner. I nearly jumped a mile high. Dick, M'gann, Conner, Robin, Artemis, Wally, and...Ethan. They had brought Ethan.

"What...who…?" I stuttered.

"My idea. You surprised?" M'gann smiled.

I nodded, sitting down on my bed next to M'gann. "You didn't have to-"

"Nonsense! It's your birthday. Just think of it as a gift."

"Is it even safe to bring him here?" I asked.

Dick stepped forward. "We decided to make an exception. He could join us here you know."

"Yeah, and it's not like he knows exactly _where_ our headquarters is located." Wally jumped in.

"They made me cover my eyes." Ethan grinned.

I just shook my head.

Artemis handed me one of the boxes. "Here. Open this one first."

"Let's get moving so we can eat that cake." Wally grinned.

* * *

It was late. I had a great time at my party, but I needed some time to think. Ethan was playing with Wally, who turned out to really be his favorite hero. My brother would remember this day for the rest of his life. It was enough. I had thought maybe he could live there if he ever got better. The thought saddened me, because as far as I knew he might never get better. Every time I thought about it I mourned over him. He was so young, had so much life left in him. It wasn't fair. I turned around when I heard footsteps behind me. It was Ethan.

"Did you have fun today, Ethan?" He nodded, then sat down beside me.

"Tell me about your last birthday." He said.

My last birthday. The last one where I had been surrounded by family.

"My last _real_ birthday was when I turned ten. It was the year before Karana died. It was just her, our parents, and me. Mom made my favorite cake, Dad got my favorite ice cream, and Karana got me a present. We were poor, so that was basically the typical Anderson birthday. But it was fun. I would wake up on my birthday, and the whole family would be there, singing me awake. After breakfast we would pack a picnic lunch and then head down to the park. We would play games until lunch, then eat, then play some more. We would eat dinner, then have the cake and ice cream and hand out presents. Karana gave me this..." I unclasped the delicate silver chain from around my neck and held it out. It was a small silver locket with a pattern of ice blue jewels on the front forming a snowflake. "I don't know how I've held on to it all these years. It should have broken or gotten lost by now. I haven't put it on for a while."

"It's very pretty." Ethan said as I put the necklace on again.

"Yes. I would stare at it for _hours_ , Ethan, admiring it. By the way, I loved the floating ball you gave me." Ethan had made a small stand, added an ice blue ball, and put some of his powers into it. How? I still have no idea. Somehow it gently rose and fell with his heartbeat. It would soon become a great comfort to me.

"Thanks." He giggled, then yawned.

"I'd better get you back to the hospital." I said, still halfway lost in thought.

"I'll come with you." A voice came from behind us. I jumped, and ice flew everywhere. "Di-Nightwing!"

"Sorry. I thought you heard me walk up behind you." He said, chuckling as he sat down beside me. "So, are you doing anything tomorrow night?"

"Didn't plan anything...why do you ask?"

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to go out?"

My heart rate increased. "You..you mean like on a..a date?"

"Yeah. I mean we've been out before, just not on a real date, so I thought that-"

I quickly put a finger to his lips. "I'd love to. What time should I be ready?"

"Around six."

"Six. Got it." Ethan yawned again, alerting us to his presence.

"You tired, Ethan?" I asked softly.

"A little." He yawned again.

I rose, getting ready to leave. "I'm visiting my home tomorrow. Would you like to come?"

"I'd love to." Dick scooped up Ethan, and walked beside me all the way to the hospital and back.

* * *

 **DATES AND THINGSSSSS. Yeah I've never been on a date so I wouldn't know...oh well! Hopefully you'll think it's fine.**

 **So I'm going to post for A Different Point of View tomorrow, be on the lookout for that.**

 **Until then, hit that like button and review, Aleah out!**


	13. Chapter 12

**Hello everyone, Aleah here! Tomorrow is Mother's Day, just in case any of you forgot. Remember to thank your mothers and be a blessing!**

 **I'd like to say thanks to** XxadvengerxX25 **and** JadeAnneHanforth **for reviewing, and thankyou to those who liked and followed.**

 **On with the chapter!**

* * *

 _Chapter 12_

I had woken up the next morning half expecting my family to be standing at the foot of my bed, softly singing like they did on my birthday several years ago. _No, they're gone. You live here now._ I kept telling myself over and over as I got dressed in casual clothing. It was very early, and still I was wide awake. How many months had it been? Eight? It seems like such a short time, and it was. The months had simply flown by. It was like I had blinked, and suddenly there I was. At the same time, eight months can be a long time as well. If you looked at every day instead of a few that stick out in your mind, it can drag on a bit.

Anyways, I know it's no fun being sad on your birthday, but for years mine hadn't been anything special. I hadn't celebrated, though sometimes if I told the workers at the soup kitchen I might would get a little extra something to eat. I would spend my birthday moping around the alley the entire day, trying not to think, or feel. Not that I had any problem with that, my powers had numbed me completely. I feel like I've explained this a lot, but you couldn't possibly understand how it feels to...well, not feel. Anything. I was guarded all the time.

As I walked into the main room I noted how quiet it was. I like quiet. Of course, there is such a thing as too much silence. It gets creepy, you feel as if someone is sneaking up on you. Speaking of which, Dick couldn't do that anymore. Well, Nightwing could, but not Dick. I had memorized his footsteps, and those of the people close to me. I felt very proud of myself when I had accomplished that. Quiet. Right. Dick was waiting for me there. In normal clothes and sunglasses, despite the fact that it was early. I had never seen him in anything but hero attire...he looked good.

"Are you ready?" He asked.

I nodded. "Let's go."

* * *

"Here it is." I walked into the...the house, if it can be called that. It was badly damaged, parts of the walls missing, holes in the rotting floor, the smell of mildew heavy in the air. "It should have been knocked down years ago. It's practically a fire hazard."

"Was this the kitchen?" Dick asked, picking his way through the rubble.

"No, that was the bathroom. _That_ was the kitchen. I think." I looked harder. "No, you're right. Sorry, it's been a while…" I walked into another room. My room, mine and Karana's. It actually didn't look to bad. Still broken and mildewy...

"This was your room, wasn't it?" Dick stepped over a piece of wood.

"Yeah." I couldn't say anything. I had walked him through my life that day, but out of all of the places I'd shown him, this one, my house, had the biggest emotional impact on me. Without looking up at him, I reached for Dick's hand. He took it and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Before the accident, I thought my parents cared. They certainly acted like they did." I sighed. "They did a lot of things with Karana and I growing up. Park dates, picnics, they got us used bikes once. Those were fun." I smiled, the memories coming back. "Until the neighborhood boys stole them that is. I don't know why we stayed in such a bad place. I know money was tight, but you'd think they would've saved up." I glanced around the room. "Mom colored with us, and took us out for walks... Dad read to us at night and taught us how to dance. They always seemed to be so in love, my parents. After the accident, they changed. Karana's death affected them deeply. After the funeral, we had to move to an apartment. They still read to me and Mom would walk by the cemetery almost every day with me." I moved to sit down on a bed frame. "I could hear her crying at night, and Dad couldn't ever put on a real smile. They grew distant. Or maybe I just distanced myself from them for my own reasons." I looked up at Dick. "You know, there was a time when I thought I could trust at least my mom with my secret. But then they left. I'm over being sad, I'm beyond hurt. I can't believe they would do something like that. I've considered everything-including impostors. But even now that I have the ability to contact them...I'm still afraid to."

Dick didn't say anything, but moved to sit beside me.

"Again, sorry for dumping all this on you."

"It's not like you haven't told me most of this before. I have to admit, going to the origin of the story does make it more real."

I smiled.

"And while I'm glad you feel comfortable telling me...why do this on your birthday?" Dick asked quietly.

"I don't know. I wanted to remember. I've had so much happiness in the past few days, and I feel as if I need to tone down a bit. I don't deserve all the good that has happened to me."

"You're wrong. Just because you haven't had a really good life doesn't mean that you are meant to lead a sorrowful one. Kori, listen to me." He took my hand in his. "You've had enough pain to last you the rest of your life. You of all people deserve to be happy."

"I get what you're saying, but I-"

"Hey, look at me." He said. I glanced up at him. "Kori." He said again, gently lifting my chin with his hand. I forced my eyes up. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. You didn't kill your sister. Your parents...well, you don't care about them, so what does it matter what they did to you? Your brother is still here. I'm here. You have a new family now. You're safe. You're _alive._ You survived life on the streets for _eight_ _years_. What more could you ask for?"

Despite my best efforts, a tear ran down my cheek. Dick moved his hand to the side of my face, gently wiping it away. I pressed my face against his hand, placed my own hand on top of his to hold it there.

"You okay?" He whispered. I nodded, leaned my head against his chest.

Then I looked up at him. "I didn't answer your question fully. I wanted to share this part of my life with you. To give something back for all you've given me." He looked at me for a minute.

"Come on." He took my hand and lead me outside. I was surprised to see that it was well past noon. He lead me to the nearby park, sat down on a bench next to me. "There are things about my life you don't know. You don't even know my full name."

I nodded.

He looked at me for a good few seconds. "So here we go. My name is Richard Grayson. My adoptive father is Bruce Wayne. My family and I were the Flying Graysons." He smiled, his voice laced with pride.

"Wait...wait...you're Richard Grayson Wayne!?"

He nodded, taking off the sunglasses.

My mouth nearly fell open. I had fallen in love with who he was, now I was also in love with his eyes. Those eyes that I've seen hold so much emotion. To this day they still mesmerize me. Then I realized. "Wait, does that mean Batman is..." I trailed off.

"Yup."

"And Robin is…"

"Right again."

I shook my head, dazed. "Who else knows?"

"The original members do. Enough time went by and we just spilled all our darkest secrets. We were all very close before that, of course, but the moment came and something just...clicked."

"Wow…" I couldn't speak. I was mesmerized by those eyes. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. I think it's true. He was staring at me, and now I was finally able to see it. The way he looked at me… "Thank you." I finally breathed, unable to look away from his eyes.

"Happy birthday." Dick murmured before kissing me. And this time, I kissed him back.

* * *

"Okay, hold still."

"I'm trying. It's hard when you're pulling my hair."

Artemis scowled half-heartedly. "I'm not pulling! You just have tangles. You look...off." She stared at me in the mirror. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, fine. Just a little dazed. Dick and I talked." I smiled to myself.

"Yeah, about that, you two were gone almost all day. Where were you?" She stopped. "Wait who?"

"It's okay Artemis, he told me everything. Who he is, and…"

"I thought he might soon...so now that your world has been completely changed by this information…"

"It's unreal. You know Batman is-"

"Yeah, I know."

"I can't get over it."

"It's a lot to process. But now you two have everything out in the open. Maybe you'll take the next step…?"

"I don't know. I don't know what comes next."

"No one does. Alright, you're ready. Good luck."

"No such thing." I took a shaky breath and left via zeta beam.

* * *

I wore an ice blue short sleeve dress with light gray flats. The dress came up just below my knees, and swished as I walked up the steps. As soon as I saw him I smiled. He looked so different when he wasn't on duty.

Dick took my hand in his. "You look beautiful." He whispered to me, leading me inside. Of course, I blushed, but didn't mind that time.

"You don't look bad either." I whispered back, secretly thinking he looked handsome.

The food was delicious, the music was great, and all night I kept thinking how lucky I was to be spending my birthday with one of the people I loved most in the world. About halfway through dinner a slow song came on, and Dick rose and took my hand.

"Let's dance." And we did. I hadn't danced in a long time, never, actually, unless you count dancing with my dad. But he guided me through it flawlessly. I eventually got comfortable enough with the steps to look up at my partner, and in that same moment found myself drowning in pools of blue.

"You're staring at me." I commented.

"Only because you're beautiful." Dick smiled. At that moment I felt as if I could just look into his eyes forever. I felt so warm, so safe in his arms, and most importantly, I felt loved. For a second an old doubt crept in, and I wondered how long this would last. But one glance at the adoring look in his eyes told me everything would be okay. And I smiled too. We were blissfully unaware that our dinner companions were watching us slowly make our way around the dance floor, most likely planning out our future for us.

"This is one of the happiest days of my life, and I will remember this moment as long as I live." I blurted out.

"Me too." Dick leaned in and kissed me. When he pulled away, something new woke up inside me and I realized what he meant to me. I knew I could say it and mean it. I didn't have any doubt's about this from that moment on.

"I love you, Dick Grayson." I blushed as I said it for the first time, and somehow managed to gaze steadily into his eyes as I did.

"And I you, Kori Anderson." Another kiss. The song decided to stop then. We walked back to our table, still holding hands. The conversation picked up again, but the Kori who sat at there was not the Kori who got up from that table to dance less than five minutes ago. I was officially lovesick.

Dick walked me to my room that night, giving me one last present before I went to bed. He asked me to be his girlfriend. You can guess what I said. I was at the peak of happiness that night, blissfully unaware that the drop down was often hard and devastating.

* * *

 **Hope the date was okay. Like I said, I've never been asked out before so I wouldn't know.**

 **So until next week, hit that like button and review, Aleah out!**


	14. Chapter 13

**Hello everyone, Aleah here! I had a long weekend and then week so that's why I'm posting this weekend instead of last. It's kind of late and I'm tired and just now got around to editing this chapter so thanks to everyone who did all the stuff and things on to the chapter!**

* * *

 _Chapter 13_

It had been two months since I'd turned twenty. Two months since I'd learned who Dick was. Two months since I'd become his girlfriend. Two months. A lot happened in those two months. Many small missions, all of them successful. I told Ethan a week after my birthday about Dick and I. He had met Dick before and adored him, and I was so relieved that Ethan approved. Not that he had the final say, but it felt much better this way. Wally and Artemis got engaged. Which was really surprising actually, seeing as they had each said they weren't the marrying type. But she said yes, and two months later it was two months away. They had known each other for almost ten years, and had been dating for almost the same time. Which got me thinking, some people get married within a year of knowing each other, others take way longer. Sometimes it doesn't workout either way, and sometimes it does. I guess it all has to do with if you really are meant for each other. Maybe I'm wrong, I've only ever been in one relationship. Well sort of, but that's not the point. Anyways.

I had also met the Bat fam, as some people call them. Dick took me to Wayne Manor a month after becoming a couple. I was intimidated by them, not knowing if they would approve of me knowing their secret, or becoming involved in this way, but they were very kind and took me in as one of their own. And we got along very well. Maybe it was the fact that none of us had our parents anymore, maybe it was the pain we shared, maybe our lifestyles. Not that it matters, the point is, they made sure I felt welcome.

Bruce was kind, but intimidating. He had this aura about him that screamed _fear me._ Probably because I knew he was Batman. I discovered that his playboy image was just a cover which I found was really smart, but also tiring. I've had to hide behind a similar image, but that's beside the point and a different story for a little later. He was very busy, either at Wayne Industries or the Batcave. But there were those few evenings when he had some free time on his hands. Those were the days Dick would bring me over. It didn't happen very often, but when it did they went all out. They always go all out for special visitors. Games and grilling and movie nights, I've seen them do all kinds of themes. And then, only sometimes at first, they would bring me along on patrol. It was thrilling, experiencing a different kind of hero work.

Alfred worked wonders. I can imagine it would be impossible not to like the kind old butler. When I started joining them on patrol I saw how the family worked together. They had each others back, and made sure I was able to keep up with them. Even Alfred. And when we came back Alfred would scold us and patch us up, making us take it easy afterwards and offering us a plate of cookies. It all worked.

We came more often, and when Bruce heard about Ethan's unusual case he put a lot of time and money into finding a cure. I mean as if having an unusual cancer was enough, the boy also had powers to conceal. I nearly cried when Bruce offered to help. Ethan met the Waynes soon after, still unaware of who they were behind the mask. I didn't tell him who Dick was either. I let Ethan know who I was, yes, because that was my life. I had no other. Which brings me to that story for later.

The Wayne's had been slowly bringing me into their world, and of course that means getting some sort of job, being seen in public with them, and, since I was with Dick, being taken to social events. Now, I don't mean social events as in parties, I mean _social events_ , where you dress up all fancy and act sophisticated and basically try to out do each other with money and what you have or are doing with it. It got really boring really fast. I knew right away that I didn't belong in that world, I felt so out of place. I'd only been to one, at the end of those two months. The Wayne's had been invited somewhere and I was taken along. Like I said, I felt really out of my element. Which is kind of ironic considering my hero title. I wasn't myself because I couldn't be, not around those people. I could hear them talking behind my back, whispering about where I might have come from, why Dick would date someone like me, how they envied my dress and shoes, who did my makeup, and on and on and on…

So when we left early I was relieved. After changing we all sat in the family room and played Monopoly and ate Alfred's cookies. Then there was an alert from the Batcave, and we all ran out to change yet again.

* * *

We stopped two bank robberies, one rape, and five house burglaries. It was midnight. It was cold. And we were wide awake. We thrived on this stuff, believe it or not. The thrill, the rush of being in combat, it's hard to explain. I never thought I'd be fighting people, hurting them, after all I'd done to prevent such a thing. But turns out this life was made for me. Dick and I were usually paired up on one side of Gotham when on patrol, while Batman and Robin were on a different side. Most of the time Batgirl would show up, alternating who she was with.

So we had gotten an alert on some kidnappers heading our way. Dick and I leaned forward on the roof, waiting for them to come by. As soon as we saw the truck, we jumped. The car stopped as soon as we landed in the back, nearly throwing us off in the process. An angry driver came out with a gun, yelling and cursing at however dared to hit his car. He saw us and froze, the color drained from his face. A second man came out, him too with a gun. Before I could react, the man shot me in my thigh. Our suits are bullet proof, but that doesn't stop the bullet from giving you a nasty bruise. I grunted as it hit me, accidently shooting and icicle at his leg. Or maybe it was his foot, I couldn't tell. Dick swiftly knocked the gun out of his hand and began fighting two other men. I looked inside the truck. Two frightened children were inside.

"Get out!" I grabbed them and pushed them out, pointing down the street. "Listen to me. Go into that building. The police will help you, now hurry!" I turned and ran as soon as they did. The third guy pulled out a knife and charged me. I froze his feet, knocked the knife out of his hand, then shot a fireball at the ground. The force of the small explosion flung him back against a building. Dick had already tied up the others.

"Kori?" I looked up to see Dick looking at me.

"It's just a bruise." I said, allowing Dick to help me up.

We turned as the sirens grew closer. Dick looked to me again. "We'd better go." We climbed back up the building and ran a few rooftops away before stopping.

"Okay, where are you hurt?" We have a thing we do after facing off each group. We check each other's injuries, clean them up as best we can, and move on.

"I might have gotten a bruise on my jaw." Dick said rubbing the side of his face. "One of them had really good aim. Caught me off guard."

"Ouch. I definitely got a bruise on my leg when one shot me." I pointed to the spot on my thigh.

"My foot slipped when I landed. I nearly fell off the truck. Had a mini heart attack." He grinned.

"I hit my head as the truck stopped." I touched the spot on my forehead.

"Let me see that." Dick gently ran his thumb over the sore spot. "I think you cut yourself..." He said, carefully wiping the blood away. I smiled. He always got this look on his face whenever he focused on something. I took a closer look at his jaw.

"Yeah, you definitely have a bruise." I said, touching it.

He winced. "Ouch! Hey!"

"Sorry, sorry." I traced the side of his mask with my finger. "So, what now?"

Dick leaned in to kiss me.

" _Nightwing, we're finished with the robbers. What is your position?"_ Batman said over the comm.

"Of course you are." Dick sighed. I laughed.

" _Are you still there?_ "

"Yeah, we're here _._ On the hotel near the police station." Dick said. "The kidnappers are heading there now. What's next?"

" _We'll just have to wait for something to pop up. Rendezvous back at the regular rooftop. Batman out._ "

Dick sighed. "Where were we?"

"You were about to kiss me." I said, blushing lightly.

"Sounds good to me." He said, pulling me closer.

Just then the Bat-signal light up.

"Great." We said at the same time. I sighed. "We should go."

"Didn't get my kiss yet." Dick smirked.

"Race you there!" I called in a sing-song voice, starting to climb up the side of a building. I heard Dick pull out a grappling hook and send it flying to the top. "Hey, that's cheating!" I protested as he shot past me.

"Gotta keep up!" He called.

I shot ice from my hands, pushing myself up. As soon as I reached the top I started running. Dick grabbed me from behind, causing me to give a shout of surprise, then laugh. "We really have to go." I laughed.

"Not yet. Because if something happens and this is the last time…"

I hate it when he does that, even if it's true. My smile faded, and I nodded slowly as I always did. "You may kiss me now."

* * *

I woke up the next morning on a bed. Not in the bed, not under the covers. Just on top of it. I wasn't dirty, which meant I'd taken a shower, and I was wearing sweats which meant I wasn't in the Batcave. There was a rule about not wearing hero costumes in the house. I was lying next to Dick, who was awake and staring at me. I looked down and Tim was lying at the foot of the bed. I looked to the side and Bruce was spread across the loveseat with a book in his hands. And Alfred was standing in the doorway with a camera.

"Good morning, miss Kori. I trust you slept well?" Alfred said with a twinkle in his eye.

"What happened in here?" I asked, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"Bruce and I helped you up the stairs, remember? Your leg was hurting pretty bad." Dick sat up. "Alfred brought you tea and left, Tim came in and after talking a bit we all just crashed."

Tim also sat up, stretching and muttering something about Gotham crime.

"Oh." Was all I said.

"Breakfast is on the table. I suggest you come down before it gets cold." Alfred said before walking out. Bruce and Tim soon followed.

"I want to wake up like that every morning." Dick sighed as he stretched.

"What, with everyone on your bed?" I raised my eyebrows.

He laughed. "No. I meant with you." I kissed his cheek then looked out at the sunrise.

"Beautiful. I wonder if Ethan is looking at this too." I said vaguely, attempting to hide my blush.

"How is he? I haven't seen him in a few weeks."

"He's better. He's getting stronger. The doctors say if this continues they might be able to do one last operation on him. They've been giving him treatment to keep the cancer mostly under control, but that won't make it go away. They know exactly where it is, so they can open him up and put the medicine in."

"They found a cure?"

"Well, sort of. It _should_ work, but they don't know for sure. It'll at least heal him enough to the point where they can give him regular chemo. After that, if it works, the chemo will heal him completely." I smiled. "Bruce has been working very hard."

"What happens when he gets out of the hospital?" Dick asked.

"He'll come here. He has powers. Where else would he go? I don't want him to live in an orphanage. I want him here at Mount Justice, with us. All of us." I said stubbornly.

"I'll help to get his room ready." Dick offered. I threw my arms around his neck.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." I pulled back, kissing him full on the mouth. "He'll be so excited."

This was more than I had hoped for. My family was almost complete. Ethan was going to get better and I wouldn't have to keep secrets from him. I was happy. I was really, really happy. But in my experience, happiness has a price. And this one almost cost all that I am.

* * *

 **Stuff and things. Tired. Sleep. Review to tell me if you like sleep.**

 **Thanks again for all your support. :)**

 **Okay, so hit that like button and review, Aleah out!**


	15. Chapter 14

**Hello everyone, Aleah here! I'm giving a shout out to those who reviewed the last two chapters.**

Cryptic Critic, **thank you so much, it really means a great deal to me when people say that.**

SylviaCassieSage, **thank you much!**

JadeAnneHanforth, **Lol whenever I type out your name I think _"Anne with an E..."_ I'm so glad you liked the chapters!**

XxadvengerxX25, **thanks, but the happy days will go away... ;) _spoilers_...**

 **On with the chapter!**

* * *

 _Chapter 14_

Every night before turning off the light I would look at the floating ball Ethan gave me. It had become a symbol to me that meant everything was okay. And then, it was. I had a boyfriend who loved me, my little brother was getting better, I had a family...Life was good.

It was the day before Ethan's birthday, and Dick and I wanted to take him somewhere for a little birthday treat. Ethan's operation was tomorrow afternoon. It had been a warm day in August, perfect picnic weather, and the leaves were just starting to turn gold. I had wanted to give Ethan a traditional Anderson birthday, the one with family time and picnics and small gifts, the kind I used to have.

"I want to be the first person he sees today." I said as we walked into the hospital. "He'll be so excited."

"I think you're more excited than he is." Dick said teasingly, elbowing my arm.

"Maybe I am. Who cares anyway?" I didn't mind his teasing, but decided to act annoyed anyway. Over the past few months I had memorized the hospital hallways. We went up two floors, down three hallways and five doors into the next was Ethan's room. I slowly opened the door, peeking in on my sleeping brother. He got this angelic look on his face whenever he slept. It was adorable.

"Ethan?" I whispered, sitting down on his bed. I started singing.

" _Love you forever_

 _Wherever you go._

 _Just know that I'm with you,_

 _and you won't feel alone._

 _Love you in the twilight blue_

 _Always holding on to you..."_

Ethan opened his eyes, a huge smile on his face. "You're here early." He said sleepily.

"Happy birthday, little guy." I said softly. Dick stepped into the room.

"It's today!" Ethan said, sitting up.

"Yup, it sure is." Dick stood behind me.

Janet poked her head into the room. "Wait a few minutes while I get Ethan ready." She smiled at us. We waited in the lobby for a few minutes. In that time another nurse gave us a picnic lunch, Ethan came down, and Janet handed Dick something that looked like a little box. I didn't say anything, figuring it was a present for Ethan.

"You ready little guy?" I said, taking his hand. No one knew I was dating Nightwing except Ethan. Janet and the other nurses thought I was dating a normal guy. That's why Dick wasn't wearing his mask. He was just Dick Grayson today.

First we ate doughnuts for breakfast. Ethan's favorite was the chocolate glazed. After that we went to the park. It was a school day, so no one else was there.

"Karana and I used to come here. It hasn't changed much. We would play heroes here."

"Cool! Could we do that now?" Ethan asked.

And so we played out mock battles, and taught him a few basic maneuvers. I remember thinking that Ethan would be a great addition to the Team once he recovered. He was smart, quick, and knew how to use his powers. I had never had so much fun in my life.

"You've saved us again, young sir. How can we thank you?" Dick said in an odd voice and bent to shake Ethan's hand. The little guy cracked up, trying to go on with his speech.

"It...was...n-nothing, I…" He paused, shaking with laughter.

"I think we lost him this time." I said to Dick.

He looked over at me. "I guess so. Pity, he almost made it to the end."

Ethan looked at us, his laughter dying down a bit. "You don't actually make these speeches, do you?"

Dick quickly shook his head. "No. Never have, never will. It's just what they do in movies."

"Okay. Is it time to eat yet?" Ethan asked, catching his breath.

* * *

Much later that day Ethan sat admiring his present from me, a stuffed giraffe, his favorite animal. I laid on the blanket with my head in Dick's lap while he messed with my hair.

"I wish this could last forever." I sighed contently. The sun was setting. The lights in the gazebo we sat across from shone across the pond. It was too beautiful to waste words on.

"We should get Ethan back to the hospital." Dick said softly.

"Not yet. Just a short walk, then we go." I pleaded. Dick smiled, called Ethan over.

"We're walking across the bridge one last time."

Ethan was clearly pleased with how the day turned out. I was glad. Whenever I held his hand he squeezed mine tightly. It made me feel safe. Funny, feeling safe with a ten year old. It was more of knowing I had a part to play, and that I was playing it well. I looked at our surroundings as we walked. The last rays of sun bathed everything in a faint golden glow. The stars were coming out, the bridge was lit with strings of lights. I sighed again, leaning over the railing. Ethan stood beside me, resting his head on his arms. I ran my fingers through his curly brown hair, the exotic pattern of light on my arms re-appearing and starting to glow.

"Beautiful." Dick murmured. I thought he was gazing at our surroundings, but then I realized he was looking at me. My cheeks turned scarlet. I smiled and looked down at my hands. Ethan left my side, going to look at the other side of the bridge, I thought.

"It's been over a year since we met." Dick said quietly, standing beside me.

"Yeah..." I sighed. That had been the fastest year of my life. It had passed in the blink of an eye.

He smirked. "To be honest, in the beginning I thought you'd try to run away."

"I thought about it. A lot, actually. By the time I found out how to leave, I didn't want to. I felt torn for a while, trying to decide if I should stay or try my luck back in Gotham."

"But you stayed."

"Yes." I thought for a moment. "I feel like I acted very ungrateful. Like I would rather have been starving back in that alley than be with all of you."

"We've all felt that way at some point. And yes, you were giving off that vibe, but we understood. You were afraid, and we understood that."

"Still, I don't think I've ever said thank you."

"I'm sure you have."

"Yes, but...I'm going to say it now, and you've got to listen very carefully."

He turned to look at me. "Okay."

I slowly leaned over and kissed him very softly, placing my hand on his arm. I pulled away, looking him straight in the eye. "Thank you."

He smiled, taking my hand. We looked over the pond for a minute.

"You know I love you, right." Dick said, staring at the pond.

"Yes. I know you do. I love you too." It got easier to say it every time, and more special too. It held more meaning the longer we knew each other.

Another long pause. "Hey, Kori? Could I ask you something?"

"Sure. Anything." I looked out at the fountain.

"Will you marry me?"

My heart stopped. I swear for two whole seconds it stopped. For two, agonizingly slow seconds I heard the words bounce around my head as I realized what was happening. I whirled around to face Dick. He was on one knee, gazing up at me. My hand flew to my mouth. _No way..._

"I didn't know what to say, because nothing seemed right. All the things other people say... You are my light in darkness. You're my better half. You see the good in me and accept the bad. It didn't feel right for us. To be honest, I don't know what I'm doing, I tried writing something for me to say, but I'm just making this up as I go. I don't know what I'm doing most of the time when it comes to us. I'm clueless really. Nothing ever prepared me for something like this, and I'm just as scared as you are. All I know is that I love you. I always will. I will never leave you. I need you in my life, I will always need you."

My arms were glowing brighter than ever. My eyes shone with tears. I laughed nervously, quickly wiping them away.

"What do you say, Kori? Will you?"

Two agonizing seconds. And in them, I knew my answer. I knew what it would be. "Yes. Yes, of course I will." I said, barely recognizing my own voice. He rose to his feet, his smile was a mile wide. I put my arms around his neck, placing my lips on his. Dick wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. I felt his breath against my cheek. He pressed his lips harder against mine, tightened his grip on me. It felt oh so good. I had to smile. I felt silly smiling while he was kissing me, but this...this was...I can't describe what I felt. But whatever it was, Dick felt it and smiled too. We pulled away, laughing.

"Here. This is for you." Dick pulled a little ring out of a small box and slipped it on my finger. I took a closer look at it. It wasn't the traditional gold band with a diamond. It was a silver ring with little diamonds set all along the front. In the middle of them was a bigger diamond with a tiny snowflake cut into it.

"Oh, it's beautiful." I breathed. I seemed to glow brighter. Ethan came over and slipped his little arms around me. "And you..." I said, pointing at him. "You were in on this, weren't you?" He nodded, smiled.

"Congratulations, Kori." Ethan said shyly. I gave him a hug, and Dick another kiss. "I love you both."

The sun had set, and it was time to take Ethan back to the hospital.

"We'll be here tomorrow afternoon after your operation." I promised as I tucked him in. "Goodnight. I love you. Happy birthday."

* * *

They all knew. All our friends knew. Apparently Wally had been in on it too. When I was tucking Ethan in, Dick texted Wally saying, " _she said yes._ " Than Wally told Artemis who told M'gann who was overheard by Conner and Tim happened to walk around the corner...

I didn't really care. I was too happy to care. I had been lying on my bed in sweatpants and a tank top, my hair still damp from my shower, staring at my ring. Planning my wedding dress, my cake, dreaming as only a bride to be does. Wife. I was going to be a wife. I was going to be a wife… I grinned like an idiot, staring and dreaming...

"Kori! Kori, open the door!" Artemis said through the door. I got up and opened it. She probably wanted to talk about our weddings, I thought.

"Hey, what's..." I started.

"Kori, it's your brother. He got sick again, really sick, so they want to go ahead with the operation. They don't have much time. The doctors don't know if he'll make it, they need you at the hospital, _now_."

And my dreams were shattered.

* * *

 **... _cliffhangersssss._**

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	16. Chapter 15

**Hello everyone, Aleah here! Thank you to all of you who reviewed, liked, followed and f** **avorited! You're awesome! I can see from the reviews that one of you caught on to what would happen, good for you! I was hinting heavily on that point, so good eye.**

 **So now on with the chapter.**

* * *

** **recomended song,** _Tears of an Angel - Ryandan_

 _Chapter 15_

"... _they need you at the hospital, now."_

"Wait what? He...he was fine this morning...it hasn't been three hours since I saw him..." I stammered.

"You think I'm lying? You think I'd come in here at eleven o'clock at night and use your sick brother as a practical joke?" Artemis insisted. Something in her tone, they way she spoke, told me I should believe her. My heart raced. This was wrong. He shouldn't be sick.

"Grab a jacket, shoes, and a purse and let's go! Dick got the call a few minutes ago..."

I nearly dropped my shoes. "Why did they..."

"You didn't answer your phone so they called his."

"Oh, I must've left it in the kitchen!" I pushed my hair out of my face.

"No kidding." My heart was pounding and my hands were shaking. Suddenly I had become the clumsiest person in the world.

"Wally is going with you two. Now are you ready?" I nodded, quickly grabbing a hair clip and running into the hall. Wally ran by, picking me up as he passed. He put me down when we came to the front room.

"We'll leave in just a minute. Dick had to get the car ready at the other end." Wally said, looking me over. I was putting my shoes on and trying to make my hair look decent.

"Let's go." Wally said as he walked into a Zeta Beam.

* * *

"Can't we go faster?"

"We'll get there soon enough, don't worry." Dick glanced back at me in the mirror. "It'll be fine."

"Is that a promise?"

Dick grimaced and didn't answer.

Wally was helping me put my hair up in a messy bun in the backseat. I was freaking out. _He shouldn't be sick. But he is. And he might be dying…_

"Wally." I said quietly. "I need a distraction."

"You'd think my clumsy attempts to fix your hair would be enough." He chuckled. "I must've pulled out a fourth of it in the past five minutes."

I smiled halfheartedly, only half listening.

"Seriously Snow Queen, I really don't know if I'm helping with this or not."

"You're doing fine. You're just indecisive. First a bun, then a braid, then a ponytail...just put it up with the clip." I glanced at the clock. "Why aren't we there yet?"

"Kori." I looked up at Dick. "He'll be fine."

"He might not be."

"He'll be alive when we get there."

I nodded, trying to believe him. As soon as we pulled into the hospital parking lot I jumped out of the car. Janet was waiting by the front door, a worried expression on her face.

"There's no change yet." She said, hurrying us down the hall. "It spread so quickly...they're not sure what to do." That scared me even more. "You can go in for a few minutes, okay? They are going to operate in a bit." That made me feel sick. But somehow I walked into the room. Janet stopped Dick from going in though.

"I'm sorry. Family only for the firs-"

I looked back at him. "Wait, he's my-"

"It's okay. Tell him I said hi." He kissed my cheek and stepped aside.

I nodded and slowly walked into the room. Ethan lay on his bed, his skin almost matching the sheets.

" _Oh God, don't let him go, please don't let him go..._ " I prayed silently as I sat down. Ethan opened his eyes and looked at me. They were clouded, dull, vacant, whichever you prefer to describe it. "Hey little guy." I said, forcing a weak smile.

"I'm sick." He stated groggily.

"Yes, I know." I said, running my fingers through his hair. "But you'll be feeling better in a little bit, okay? The doctors will help you."

"What if they can't?"

"They will." I said, more to myself than him.

"But if they can't, I'll go to Heaven, right?"

I nearly choked. "Yes, when you die, you will go to Heaven. But that won't happen for a while now."

"But I'd be better?"

I had to force the words out. "Yes. Yes you would." I took in a shaky breath. But don't you dare stop fighting Ethan. You're going to be okay." We sat together for a few minutes, and all the while I was thinking I'd give up anything for him to be okay.

Ethan shifted around a bit, scrunching his face up. "It hurts…"

"Shh, I know, I know. You'll be better soon. It'll go away soon."

"Kori..." Janet poked her head in. "They have to operate now."

"I have to go now. I'll be right here when you wake up, promise." I kissed his forehead and walked out of the room.

"Is it happening now?" Ethan asked her.

"It might be, darling. We don't know yet."

"Okay." He sighed and closed his eyes.

"Wait, what's happening? What was he talking about?" I asked as she pushed me out.

"Kori, we knew this day would come, he just wasn't strong enough. You knew as well that sometime this year this would happen."

"But-"

"Mr. Wayne has made great progress, but we have to consider that he may have gotten involved too late."

"Janet-"

"This might be it, or it might not be. We'll just have to wait."

I looked down at my shoes. "I know."

"Good-ah! There you are," she said as Dick walked over, "Okay, It will take a few hours...I'll get you people into a nice room. You get some rest. He's in Gods hands, remember." Janet offered.

"Thanks." Dick said, putting an arm around me as we walked. I was trembling from head to foot, afraid of what might happen.

"Dick..." I started as soon as the door closed.

"It's gonna be okay. He'll be fine." He wrapped my jacket around my shoulders. I had left it in the car in my hurry to get to Ethan.

"His face was so pale...what if they can't do anything for him..."

"We don't know that. He might survive this."

"He got really sick really fast. He's had this cancer for most of his life. Dick, this is my life we're talking about. I know the pattern. One crisis after another. There may be hope, but I don't think there's enough time...everything happened too late."

"You mean you're just going to accept this!?"

"You think I want to!? My little brother is _dying_! He's dying and I can't do anything! I can't help him!" I sat down on the couch, my vision blurred with tears. I covered my face with my hands. "I'm so scared. What if he...?" Dick sat down beside me.

"Dick, he was talking about Heaven. He was so calm...why is it that he is so comfortable with this and I'm the one on the verge of a nervous breakdown?" I stared at my feet.

"You'll be okay. Ethan will too. He'll either live and be with us or die and go to a better place than this. We'll just have to wait."

I rested my head on his shoulder, still crying, but comforted. He held me close to him, not saying anything but just being there. Wally sat with us too. I was fighting against my powers, as they were trying to freeze me again. Snowflakes flew around me from time to time. This was frightening. The very thought of Ethan being cut open terrified me so much I almost couldn't breathe. I tried sleeping. I tried pacing. I tried sitting still. I tried standing still. Heck, I tried roaming the halls but that only made me more anxious. Everything made me even more anxious. Eventually I asked for gloves, something I hadn't done in a long time. I sat in silence, and the longer I sat the more I felt numb. It was a relief, honestly, to not feel anything. Was I still worried? Yes, of course. But felt more at peace with it, and finally I was able to sleep. Until a siren woke me up two hours later and I was restless yet again.

"Snow Queen. It's way past three in the morning. You have to sleep." Wally said quietly, staring at the ceiling.

I shook my head. "I can't. Ever heard of stress?"

"Yes I have and it's eating you alive. Try to sleep."

"What do you think I've been doing?"

He glanced over at me. "Sitting as still as a statue, for one thing. I don't think you've moved in what? An hour? Move around a bit, get something to drink and go to sleep."

I stood up. "Where's Dick?"

"Eh, he probably went to spy on the doctor's or something."

Dick walked into the room. "How'd you guess?"

"What's going on? Is he okay?"

He sighed. "The doctors are just doing research now before they close him up. They tried the meds. I don't know if they got they got it in him in time, though. Someone should be in here any minute to inform us."

"Okay." I whispered. Five minutes that seemed like five hours passed.

"Kori?" Janet peeked into the room. "Ethan's doing okay for now. We'll have to keep an eye on him though, but-"

My legs turned to water and I had to sit down. Dick was at my side in an instant. I hugged him tightly, getting my breathing under control. "Thank God…"

"Would you like to see him now?"

* * *

He was still unconscious when I saw him. I mean of course he was, no one wakes up that fast after surgery. But he was breathing, and that was enough for me at that moment. "Ethan…" I whispered. "Oh Ethan, darling, you're okay. I told you…" I trailed off. I told him. Well what good was my word? What had I been saying to Dick about my life? One crisis after another? I stared at him for a minute. Somehow I knew what was coming. I didn't move, though, I just sat there and held his hand. I knew what would happen...and I was still surprised when the monitor began beeping furiously. Doctors rushed in and I was pushed aside in the chaos as they shouted at each other and hooked him up to even more things.

"What happened?" I called out, but no one answered. "What's wrong with him?"

Someone pulled me out and I felt like I was being passed down a line of people before somehow I ended up sitting in the same spot I had been five minutes ago. I don't remember what happened in the time I sat there. Not a thing. I don't know if I spoke or if I was alone, I don't know how Dick showed up beside me or why nurses were speaking to me. I don't even recall what they said. I do remember, however, when Janet came in looking like someone had just run over her dog.

"Kori." She spoke softly, like she'd just been crying. Her eyes were slightly red to back that up. "His vital signs are dropping. I'm sorry. There's nothing more we can do for him."

That almost did it. I almost went numb again. I fought hard against my powers, and won, temporarily. I sat and stared at her. I knew.

"Would you like to say goodbye?" Janet asked. I nodded, tears filling my eyes. This was the end. He was leaving.

So many people were waiting outside his room to say goodbye. It took a minute, but I finally got into the room. He looked so pale and in many ways, grey. I could tell he was in pain, his cheeks were flushed, his damp hair stuck to his forehead. And yet his eyes were still bright. Full of life. But even that wouldn't last long. The monitor beside his bed beeped frequently, like a heartbeat. I don't know when he woke up. I didn't ask and I don't need to know.

"Ethan..." I tried, but stopped. I wouldn't be able to talk to him without crying.

"You don't have to tell me. I know." He said quietly. I let out a little sob before controlling myself.

"You...you'll be in a better place. And I'll be right behind you. You get there and turn around and see me. Me and Dick and the others." I blinked in a failed attempt to clear my vision.

"Don't cry." He said softly. "Please don't cry." And for his sake I tried not to.

"I love you." He said. I choked back another sob.

"I-I love you too." There were longer pauses between beeps. I held his hand tightly, hoping I wasn't hurting him. Dick was standing behind me.

"Stay with her..always...don't stop loving her..." Ethan murmured.

"Never." Dick gave him a small smile and placed a hand on my shoulder. Ethan smiled back. The life was slowly draining from his eyes, it was terrifying.

"Sing?" He barely whispered. I swallowed hard, tried to calm down enough to speak.

"W-what song?" I choked.

He pointed to his giraffe. I quickly reached over to hand it to him. "The one...you...morning…" He murmured. I could only make out a few words, but I understood.

"Okay." I cleared my throat and sang.

" _Love you forever_

 _Wherever you go._

 _Just know that I'm with you,_

 _and you won't feel alone."_

Ethan seemed to relax, tried to sing with me. But only a croaking sound came out of his mouth so he left the singing to me.

 _"Love you in the twilight blue_

 _Always holding on to you._

 _Nothing will hurt you, never fear_

 _As dark creeps in, I hold you near."_

He closed his eyes still smiling, the drugs started to work on him. His breaths became more shallow, an eery sound, like gurgling, came from his throat. It might have been worse than that sickening thud of Karana's head hitting the window...

 _"Love you you forever_

 _Wherever you go._

 _Just know that I'm with you..._ "

The box let out one long beep. His hand went limp in mine. I stared in horror as he went still. I nearly lost it. But I had to finish the song for him. Maybe he could still hear me...

 _"Just know that I'm with you,_

 _and you won't feel alone."_

He was gone.

* * *

I clung to my baby brother, sobs wracked my body. I silently screamed at God, begging Him to bring Ethan back to me. Dick picked me up and carried me to the other room while Wally ceremonially pulled the sheets over Ethan's head, covering his lifeless face. Janet was crying, too, along with the other nurses who had been fond of him.

"Okay...okay..." Dick murmured as he laid me down on the couch. "Shh...it's over now. Try to sleep, okay?" He sat beside me stroking my arm, my cheek, my hair.

I don't know how, but I slept. It was four o'clock in the morning when Ethan died. When I woke up it was seven. Light was pouring in the window. It was like none of it had ever happened. It didn't feel right. I looked around the room. Dick was sleeping at a desk with his head resting on his arms. Wally was sitting against a chair, sleeping. The only people awake in the room were me and...Bruce. He must have come earlier. He was sitting in a chair, looking out the window.

"Bruce?" I whispered. He looked up.

"Hello."

We stared at each other a while.

"Are you ready to go home?" He asked softly.

I shook my head. Home. How could I go home? Ethan was gone...But Dick wasn't. _That's right,_ I thought. _We're engaged. I still have him._

Bruce nodded. "I'll take you to the Mannor." He got up and gently shook Dick awake. I sat up, rubbing my eyes.

"Kori..." Dick started, but couldn't think of anything to say. I kissed his cheek, then reached for my shoes. Wally handed me my jacket and walked out the door.

"Where is he going?" I asked quietly.

"He's running back to the mountain." Bruce said quietly.

Janet walked us out to the parking lot. "He wanted me to give these to you when he died." She said, handing me a small box and an envelope. I carefully put them in my purse.

"Thank you. For being kind to both him and me."

She blushed lightly. "He loved you, Kori. Adored you. I'll miss you both."

"I'll keep coming to see you." I said, smiling a little. I glanced behind her at the hospital before turning away.

"Kori wait...what did you tell them to do with him?" Janet asked. I looked back again. I didn't think I could bear seeing his lifeless face again...

"Cremate him." I gave Janet a hug then climbed into the car, watching her from the window. Dick gently rubbed my back, asking if I was okay. I didn't answer, but hugged him and cried softly. Bruce was watching us from the front seat. Concern was in his face.

When we got to the Mannor I headed straight for my room ignoring any and all questions. I took another shower, put on different clothes and laid on my bed. Soon I sat back up and turned on my phone, looking at the camera I had placed in my other room. When I panned in on my nightstand where Ethan's birthday present to me sat I froze. It wasn't floating.

The ball rested on its stand.

 _He was too young._ I screamed at myself, lying down again. _He was too young._

* * *

 **...please don't kill me.**


	17. Chapter 16

❄❄❄Chapter 16❄❄❄

 _Kori, thank you for being my sister._

 _It would have been easier for you to just walk away and pretend you never knew I existed. But you got to know me, you let yourself to get close to me, and I know that wasn't easy for you to do, given how your life had been before you met the Team. You were the only family I had, and if I ever felt unloved or neglected in the past, you made up all that in the short time we had together. And I loved you. I found myself loving Karana as well, she seemed somewhat like you._

 _I know you will want to cremate my body, and that's fine with me. I wouldn't like being covered in powder just so my body would look "normal." I want to be buried in the same place Karana was. I think she might like that. Don't be sad. I'm not sick anymore._

 _Inside the box you will find my wedding present to you. You can open it now or at the shower or after the rehearsal or whenever you want. I know you'll like it. Dick loves you more than anything, he told me so. I may be young but I could see it when he looked at you. That's one of the reasons I liked him so much. Because he was so good to you, and to me. I know you'll be happy._

 _If you ever meet our parents...tell them about me. I would also ask you to not be mad at them, but I know you well enough to know that asking would be pointless. I just want them to know what happened. I think you want the same._

 _Love always, your brother,_

 _Ethan Anderson_

* * *

I put the letter down trying to suppress the sinking feeling in my heart. It had only been a week since Ethan's death and five days since his cremation so I wasn't expecting to be over it so soon. It hurt. It hurt more than when Karana died because this time I had no one to blame. The guilt had been overwhelming that time, but I was able to take it out on myself. His death wasn't my fault but I couldn't accept it and move on. I would sit trying to figure it out, who could I blame for this to make myself feel better? Who could I shut out? It was a horrible, dreadful feeling that just wouldn't go away.

And then of course there was still life to do; food, hygiene, socializing. It was the one thing I couldn't put off, but I tried, and every day I felt a little more lost than the day before. So I basically - practically - yeah I gave up trying. After Karana's death I had stayed in my room a long time. The way I saw it, I had just helped death's hand come quicker. Yeah, she was thrown against a window, but there was still a chance she might have lived. When I did come out the house was quiet. I saw my parents but rarely spoke with them. And as the months passed I wished that somehow I had died too.

There was no one to blame this time, not even myself, so I shut down. I hid and I avoided everyone, including Dick. Not that he just gave up. That night at the Manor he held me until I fell asleep, and he stayed by my side all the next day. And the next. I was never alone, even if I was in my room by myself someone was always just outside the door. Almost without realizing it I was reverting back into that girl on the streets. I hardly ate, I didn't seek out people although I longed for human interaction.

I felt horrible about it and I knew needed someone to talk to and be my anchor but I couldn't bring myself to talk about that night. Not even with Dick. What a way to start an engagement. And finally, around three in the morning I opened the letter. I had cried so much before that I didn't think it possible to shed another tear. Yet when I set it down a whole new batch came streaming out.

For the first time in four days I stepped out of my room.

The Batcave was empty that morning. The air was normal, my powers weren't affecting the temperature at all. Like I was numb. I hadn't used them since the night Ethan died. When I tried to nothing happened. Everything had been bottled up so tight for as long as I could remember, it was blocked off but the wall that had safely hid it all away had crumbled. I wanted to punch something. I wanted to hurt someone even if it was just me. I felt like I might spontaneously combust if I held them in any longer. I could feel it all rapidly bubbling up to the surface as I continued to struggle to get something, anything to happen. A cry ripped itself from my lungs as the frustration and pain grew and grew until it was all a blinding light behind my eyes.

Someone touched me. My body reacted and flinched away so hard it felt like I had convulsed. I couldn't see who was there. Everything sounded muffled to my ears. The person touched me again, and again I backed away. The ringing had begun, and I couldn't see, and someone was there and I couldn't force my powers out. I blindly threw myself at whoever dared touch me and them likewise. Though it was only a few minutes, the struggle felt like it had gone on for hours. It hurt. Everything hurt and I knew I was screaming but nothing registered in my head. And I knew I was getting hit and bumping into things and nothing hurt, but everything hurt and I hit them so hard, as hard as I could and with every ounce of strength I had. At some point my screams became internalized and everything went into overload.

 _It's not fair, nothing is fair, how could this happen - who is fighting me, why are they in here, how dare they come in here - GET OUT, JUST GET OUT, STOP IT, STOP IT, PLEASE JUST STOP IT...stop...please stop...why can't everything just stop? Everything's moving forward and I'm stuck here, can't they see I'm stuck in here where no one can reach me - I WANT TO BE ALONE, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE - I'm alone, I'm so alone...I want to be alone. I need someone to help me out of this, I'm drowning, I can't breathe.._

 _Oh. I can't breathe. I literally cannot breathe, what is this - water. It's water. Where am I?_

The realization that I was suddenly submerged in water stole the blindness away and I saw the bubble I had created around myself. I crashed onto the floor sputtering and gasping for breath. Someone turned me onto my side. As I gained control of my breathing I tried to focus on one thing at a time. I could see the reflection of the ceiling in the pool of water. The ringing in my ears stopped. It was quiet. Already the water had begun to recede as I slowly sat up, then stood. He also stood after having knelt for however long. I couldn't look at him. I'd hit him, and screamed at him...I blamed him.

"Are you okay?"

I shrugged, still shaking, still refusing to look up. I blamed him. And I knew I couldn't. He hadn't done anything wrong, but if he had worked harder, faster, then maybe...just maybe..

Bruce placed a hand on my shoulder. This man had been so kind, had worked so hard. And yes his work was for naught, it would help others, but it failed when it mattered most. At least when it mattered most to me. But I couldn't blame him. After I had caught my breath he bent down to my level and looked me in the eye. I just nodded, closing my eyes for a second before straightening up and nodding again.

"Alright. Let's go back up."

* * *

After changing and taking a nap, I was confronted by Alfred. He stood waiting for me to exit my room, and immediately began to lead me downstairs.

"Come along, Miss Anderson. Let's get some food into you. You're probably starving."

I hadn't been in a eating mood for a while. The old butler however had remained vigilant, trying to tempt me with all sorts of dishes. "Not really..."

"You've barely eaten enough to keep a bird alive, how could you not be hungry?" He wondered aloud.

I shrugged. "I guess it's my past lifestyle. I'm used to being hungry."

"Well you should be used to being full, so start chewing." He practically shoved a plate piled high with breakfast foods at me.

"Smells good.

"It tastes better."

I sighed softly and mechanically took a bite. Alfred smiled and pushed a glass towards me.

"Can I trust you to eat on your own?"

I nodded, taking another small bite. I was a little hungry.

* * *

 _ME: We need to confront this thing I've been avoiding._

 _DICK: Okay, whenever you're ready. I know it's hard._

 _ME: I don't deserve you. Really._

 _DICK: Hey don't think like that_

 _ME: It's true_

 _DICK: I'll add that to the list of things we need to go over._

 _ME: I know there's a lot. I know I've been distant. First thing tomorrow we'll talk about everything._

 _DICK: If you're referring to our untimely engagement alongside the obvious stuff…_

 _ME: Yeah_

 _DICK: My timing could've been better. I understand if we need to put that on pause for a little while._

 _ME: No no, I just.. Tomorrow, Dick._

 _DICK: Right. Okay. I'll be back later tonight, do you want to be alone or should I just come in?_

 _ME: Only if you don't push the talk xP_

 _DICK: No worries. I'll see you in a few hours. I love you._

 _ME: I love you too._

 _DICK: I'll text you again when I'm on my way_

* * *

 _Ethan,_

 _I've been selfish. I didn't want to get to know you at first. I didn't want to get to know anyone. I either want to take the blame...or place it on someone else. I can't tell you how ashamed I am for even thinking that meeting you would be something I'd regret. Because I don't regret it, Ethan. I swear I don't. In those first few minutes I knew my worrying had been all but wasted time. You are family. My family. And I am yours._

 _You helped show me a life without fear. And you should know how much that meant to me. How much that helped. You showed me, for however briefly, a world without hate. You showed me how to forgive. It's sad to know that you thought I couldn't forgive our parents. It's hard to. It will be very hard. But you should know I don't hate them anymore for what they did. I have so many questions that need to be answered, and I don't know if or when I'll gather up the courage to go asking for them…someday._

 _My little brother. Within minutes you brought out such a deeply buried joy and oh how it shone. It reflected in your eyes. You meant just as much to me as I did to you. I wish you were still here. You had so much left to do. Thank you for everything. I will remember you until my memory fades, until death, and then I'll be with you again. Rest assured, that won't be for many years. I won't waste what you gave up. What you lost. I'll live for you, for my remaining family. I'll try to live up to who you thought I could be._

 _Love always, your sister,_

 _Kori Anderson_

 _(P.S. I love your present! Thank you!)_

Setting the envelope down, I looked into the box again, smiled, then closed it and set it down on the nightstand before turning off the lamp.

* * *

 _It was dark_

 _The world was silent_

 _There was only one light_

 _A fire_

 _I walked towards it_

 _Looked at it closer_

 _And found myself staring into the face of my brother_

 _Eyes shining, face glowing_

 _Laughing_

 _Jumping in and out of the fire_

 _Floating as if he were on the moon_

 _For seconds at a time_

 _Before landing again_

 _The lullaby echoed, bouncing off invisible walls_

 _As he crumbled_

 _Into dust_

 _And blew off into the void_

 _Towards the darkness_

 _Tiny specks of light following_

 _As the dust_

 _My dead brother_

 _Became stars to guide me home_

 _As I am left behind_

 _To continue to live out the years stolen from him_

* * *

*I Go To Sleep-Sia

 **(Go to profile for info. Will update it within 2 days on my intentions.)**


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